Capsized
by TerryJ
Summary: "I could kill myself." Will offered lamely. What happens after the Election Night broadcast if none of their problems are fixed?
1. Chapter 1

"I could kill myself." Will offered lamely.

He was reclined in his office chair sipping on the scotch that Charlie had brought in at the close of the election night broadcast. They had not too slowly made their way through more than half the bottle while spit balling plans as to how to change Leona's mind before 9 am.

Which is how they got to 2 am and Will suggesting his latest idea.

Charlie scoffed from his position next to the table in the corner, "Yeah. Couldn't sue you for breach then."

Will smirked, "Yeah..."

Sensing a change in his demeanor, Charlie sat up a little straighter, "Will?"

Will looked up, "It was a joke Charlie. Relax, jeeze, just a joke."

Charlie narrowed his eyes but nodded slowly as he relaxed into his chair again. Silence took over the two men, lost in their thoughts.

"Would certainly change the news story though." Will murmured.

Charlie sat forward again but Will held up his hands to silence him, "I'm just making conversation. I'm not standing here with a gun to my temple or anything. I don't even have a gun so it's not like I even could if I wanted to." He fell silent again, deep in thought. "I mean, not that I would shoot myself anyway; Really the best way is severing the femoral artery. High probability of success without so many of the post mortem challenges or embarrassments that hanging or jumping out a window might create. Can still have a pretty face in the casket." Will sneered as he took a long drink from his glass.

Charlie stood and made his way opposite of the desk, leaning over it, pressing his hands onto the wooden surface, "William..."

Will looked up at him and shrugged, annoyed. "What? It's actually not the worst idea the world you know. I could leave a note which could be admitted in the trial. I could explain how I was the final approving vote, the room was divided and it was me and me alone who had the final choice to greenlight it. I would make clear the doctored tape was a major factor in my decision. It would completely screw over Dantana's case while insulating everyone else here. And if I do it tonight, before the compliant is even filed then that would cause just enough of a ruckus to distract the media from all of the stupid embarrassing stories he's trying to push out there. After all, 'Disgraced Celebrity News Anchor Commits Suicide' makes a much better headline than 'Mid-Level Producer Covers Primary Campaign Because He Felt Rejected by a Girl and 99 other Stories You Couldn't Care Less About". I could give you cover in the court of public opinion in addition to the trial court..." He trailed off, thinking.

Charlie was shaking his head but Will ignored him, sitting forward at the desk as if he were arguing for a longer segment in tomorrow's broadcast.

"Think about it; You could keep your job and your reputation and integrity. You could convince Mac she's not fired, she could come back and do the job she wants to do with all the staff she wants to do it with. She would be able to run a show and focus on her work without having to see me all the time making her mad or sad or scared or whatever the hell she was implying. Everyone can just keep doing their jobs and be happy. Hell, even Reese would be happy because between being able to hire a cheaper anchor and the insurance payout it would actually end up as a profitable occurrence. Who knows, you might even get a bigger bonus."

Charlie ground his teeth, "Will. Stop it. You're scaring me."

Will stared at Charlie, as if he were baffled by the older man's lack of understanding, "Why? Where's the problem? I wouldn't be causing anyone any problems, no one is dependent on me for anything. One way or the other I'm leaving the show. After that it's not like I've got much going for me. My professional life is over; I'll never get another job. I could retire, sure, but would I do with my time? Sit alone in my empty apartment? I have no kids or wife or girlfriend. My parents are both dead, my siblings would be upset for maybe a week but they've all got their own lives half a continent away, they wouldn't miss me. I've lost Mackenzie for a second time and this time I don't think there's going to be a reunion 3 years down the road. Hell, she thinks I'm a complete jerk anyway. She'd probably be relieved to never risk running into me again."

Will leaned back, sipping his drink and looking at Charlie with a completely unaffected stare on his face.

Charlie was shaking his head slowly, "No...no...no..."

Will made eye contact, "It's not a bad idea Charlie. I mean what the hell else am I going to do? Nothing. There is nothing I can do for anyone to help push past this. May be I was joking at first, but I think this could really help. It's the only thing I can possibly do that screws Dantana, protects you all and saves me from my own misery."

Charlie stood completely still, his face drawn and pale. "You're serious? This is what you want? You're not joking? This is what you want to do?"

Will looked up into Charlie's face and gave him a small sad smile, "It's the most logical thing to do." He shifted in his seat, "And I'm sorry, I know we're friends and out of everyone on the planet you might struggle with it the most but isn't it worth it if everything else is put to rights? You're a logical person. You know this is the best thing for everyone. And I am sorry but I am also sure this is what I want to do. Don't worry about it Charlie. Just do me this favor, let me do the right thing. Give me a hug and then leave the scotch and don't come back for a couple of hours."

Charlie chewed the inside of his cheek, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He coughed to clear his throat and nodded resolutely, "Ok." He whispered hoarsely.

Will swallowed, "Thank you."

Charlie straightened, and walked around the desk, opening his arms, "Come on now, if you're going to do this you better stand so I can give you a proper hug."

Will smiled fondly and stood to return the embrace.

He never even saw it coming.

As soon as he was on his feet Charlie swung hard with the heavy glass tumbler still in his hand, solidly connecting with Will's temple and instantly felling the younger man.


	2. Chapter 2

Will slowly came to on the floor behind his desk.

He blinked slowly, the dim light of the office was painfully bright on his retinas. All of his senses were blurry and his arms felt heavy.

_What_ _happened?_ His head began to pound. Was it possible he had passed out drunk? That would be embarrassing, he hadn't done that since his 20s.

He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath, trying to force his brain to wake up, focus and tell him what the hell was going on.

He could feel an ice filled handkerchief resting on the side of his head and the sound of Charlie's voice began to come through the fog.

"Okay. Yeah. See you soon."

_Charlie!_ Suddenly the evening came back to him; being the head of moral. Mac's utter despondency, accusations and thinly veiled contempt. Charlie's sense of defeat. The overwhelming frustration and fear of an utterly bleak future. His sudden epiphany. Then Charlie knocking him unconscious with one punch. Damn, that _was_ embarrassing.

Will groaned and after a failed attempt to push himself up he settled for rolling over on to his back.

Charlie's face swam into view. "How's you're head?"

Will closed his eyes and groaned again. "You hit me!" He immediately winced at the volume of his own voice.

Charlie shrugged, "I felt like given the options it was my only real choice."

Will pushed the heels of his hands into his eyes, "Shhhhhhhhhhhh with the loud words."

Charlie clucked his tongue, "You deserve to have a headache what with the heartache you gave me with all that bullshit you were spewing. Hopefully the pain will wake up your senses!"

Will grunted but said nothing, keeping his eyes screwed shut. He heard shuffling and felt a gentle hand lift his head, placing something soft underneath it and readjusting the ice pack so it was again resting against his temple.

Will squinted open his eyes to see Charlie, sans suit jacket, kneeling next to him, his voice was soft and gentle, "Shhh, I know it hurts. I'm sorry. I really am Will."

Will shifted but Charlie placed a firm hand on his shoulder, "Just lie still for now. We'll get you down to the hospital soon."

"Don need to go to hospital..." He slurred.

Charlie shook his head, "You have a concussion. Probably a pretty nasty one. You were unconscious for over 3 full minutes. You're going to the hospital and we're going to make sure that I didn't give you an aneurysm or something that will actually complete what you were threatening to do."

Will smirked, "That'd be ironic..."

"No, it wouldn't. That's not what irony means." Admonished Charlie lightly.

Will opened his eyes to see the worry and guilt etched in to Charlie's face. He sighed, "It's okay Charlie. I'm sorry. I really am."

He watched as the older man forced his trembling lower lip into submission, "Shh. Don't worry about talking about it now. We'll get you taken care of it and then we'll talk later."

Will closed his eyes and groaned again as a thought occurred to him, "Charlie, the ambulance. They're going to put out a dispatch call. Every paper in the city has radio scanners and they are already looking for drama surrounding ACN. This is just going to add to tomorrow morning's feeding frenzy."

Charlie smirked, "I know. But I didn't call an ambulance."

Will looked up at him, confused, "Then what are we waiting for?"

_"Where the bloody hell is he?"_ came a familiar, angry British accent from the doorway.


	3. Chapter 3

Will closed his eyes. _Crap._ This was not going to go well.

"Over here." Charlie called her attention to them both on the far side of the desk.

Will listened to her quick steps as she entered the office and rounded the desk.

"Jesus, Billy." She breathed.

He felt her kneel next to him,opposite from Charlie and put a hand on his chest right above his heart. "Has he woken up at _all_?" she asked, panic in her voice.

"I'm awake..." Will announced himself, slowly opening his eyes again. Mac was still in her outfit from earlier in the evening but instead of the tepid expression he had last seen on her face she now wore a look of absolute fear.

Instinctively he reached out to her, "It's okay. I'm fine. Charlie's not as tough as he thinks he is."

He ignored the derisive snort from the man next to him.

Mac shook her head, some of the fear easing now that she heard him speak but not erasing completely. "No you're not fine. And you're lucky Charlie didn't hit you harder." She looked over to Charlie, "The cab is waiting downstairs."

Charlie nodded and turned his attention to Will, "Okay, time to get up."

Will groaned, "Do I have to?"

Charlie was already grasping his shoulder and arm, instructing Mackenzie to do the same on Will's other side. "Yes, you do. We're going to help you, you're going to feel dizzy but you need to stand up."

Will grunted and leaned into Charlie's assistance eventually struggling into a standing position.

"Ugh..." he immediately made to bend over, to escape the throbbing in his head and nausea. Charlie wrapped his arm around his back and pull Will's arm over his shoulder, keeping him upright.

"This sucks." Mumbled Will.

"It's a blast for us too you moron." Mackenzie chided, wrapping his other arm over her shoulder and tucking her hand around his waist.

The three eventually made it out of the office and down to the sidewalk where the cab was waiting. By the time they had tucked themselves into the backseat Will was sweating and tasting bile in the back of his mouth. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes.

Mackenzie's hand came up to brush back his hair and place the ice pack on his forehead. He hadn't even realized she grabbed it and he sighed gratefully into it's touch.

"Open your eyes Billy, you can't fall asleep yet."

"Want to..." he murmured.

"I know, but you can't. Not yet. Soon, I promise. But not yet, please. Please, Billy, open your eyes."

He took a deep sigh and slowly blinked open his eyes and looked over at her. She smiled, "There you go. Good job. We're not too far away. Why don't you tell me a story to keep yourself awake?"

He resisted the urge to roll his eyes, "What type of story?"

She shrugged, "Anything Billy."

He closed his eyes again, "I don't want to."

She pushed his shoulder, jostling his eyes open again, "And I don't want to worry about you but you seem dead set on not letting me escape that tonight."

He looked away and sighed. When she spoke again her voice was lighter, cajoling, "Come on Will. Just tell me something. Anything as long as you keep talking. How about something from your time at the White House? You were tired then; what would you do to stay awake?"

He smiled and quietly acquiesced to her question, "There just wasn't an option to sleep sometimes. There was always so much to do. There was the time that Herb and I...did you ever meet Herb?...Herb and I spent all day working on some remarks to be used at the Madrid conference for which the President was leaving early the next morning. We had been working in the cabinet room so we could spread out but as we were cleaning up, Herb knocked the final speech off the table and of course that's the moment Millie comes tearing through and picks up half of it. We spent 40 minutes chasing that damn springer spaniel through the West Wing before finally realizing the paper was completely destroyed. We went back and stayed up until 6am rewriting the damn thing."

Mac giggled next to him.

"What?"

She looked up at him and smiled, "The dog ate your homework?"

He scowled, "The PRESIDENT's dog at my very important and serious foreign policy remarks."

"Suuuure." she smirked at him.

He looked at her, transfixed. She was smiling at him. A few hours ago she was begging him to fire her and accusing him of caring more about his image than her. He didn't think he'd ever see her again, never mind see her smile at him. He willed himself to focus on her, fearing she was just a concussion induced hallucination.

Her brow furrowed and her smile faltered, "Will? Will? Will, are you okay?"

He blinked rapidly, "Huh?"

She put a hand on his cheek, "You blanked out for a minute there, Billy. You scared me, I that you were about to have seizure or something."

He looked down, "Sorry."

He tried not to focus on her hand on his skin, he didn't want to scare her again. But it was impossible to ignore, it was so comforting. His eyelids began to grow heavy...

"_WILL!_" Her shout was enough for him to jerk awake and he instantly regretted the sharp movement and moaned as he lay his head back.

Charlie touched his shoulder, "Come on, stay focused just a little while longer, we're here."

Mac and Charlie guided Will into the emergency room and seated him in one of the empty chairs while Mac went to the check-in desk. She returned a moment later with a clipboard. "They're going to send someone out in a couple of minutes with a wheelchair to bring you to see the triage nurse first but I need your insurance card to finish these forms for you."

Will made the mistake of reaching for his wallet while nodding his understanding and craning his neck to look up at Mac who was silhouetted against the bright fluorescent lights of the waiting room.

He promptly leaned over side of the chair and vomited before passing out.


	4. Chapter 4

As consciousness slowly returned to him Will was pleased to find his head no longer felt like it was being split by a jackhammer; it had been down graded to a ball peen hammer.

Without opening his eyes he conducted a personal inventory. He was lying down on what he assumed was a hospital bed. His shirt was missing but he was happy to realize that he still had on his jeans and shoes meaning that the doctors hadn't been concerned enough to admit him. He wiggled his fingers and winced at the tug of the IV line in his right hand and the weight of the pulse/ox on his left.

He risked opening his eyes and was grateful to find the lights were off in the small alcoved room.  
Without raising his head he looked to the side to find a very somber looking Charlie Skinner watching him carefully.

"Hey." Will croaked out. His tongue was thick and his mouth was dry.

Seeming to understand Charlie handed him a cup of ice water from the side table. "Use the straw, don't pick up your head." He advised in a quiet voice.

Will closed his eyes as he sipped gratefully.

He heard Charlie shifting next to him. "I'm sorry Will. I shouldn't have done that."

Will released the straw and relaxed back on to the pillows, "Charlie..."

"No, I wan't finished. I'm really sorry and I shouldn't have done that but you were scaring the crap out of me Will and if you even think about talking like that again I won't hesitate to keep you in this hospital bed." The older man looked away with a quivering voice, "You scared the crap out of me..."

Will was pretty sure the knot in his stomach had nothing to do with his concussion.

He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry Charlie. I really am. I was drunk and depressed and feeling desperate. I didn't mean it."

Charlie turned back and shook his head sadly, "That's what scares me. The chances of you being drunk, depressed and desperate again aren't exactly unlikely."

Will looked away, unable to honestly provide a denial and offer Charlie comfort. He felt the older man drop a hand on his shoulder and he hung his head.

He was suddenly struck by the fact they were in an empty room. He craned his neck to the door. He could tell they were still near the emergency room but there was no one near the door.

"Where's the guy?" He asked.

Charlie tilted his head, "What guy?"

Will gestured to the empty space, "You know, the guy. The guy they make sit in the room when they think someone is suicidal."

Charlie shook his head, "No guy. No one here knows what you said, we told them you pissed off a drunken marine who hit you."

Will blew out a relieved breath. "Well I guess that's believable."

"And true!" added Charlie with a smirk.

"Ah, he's awake. Our very own Christine Chubbuck." Mac strolled into the room, her arms crossed across her chest and as dark a glare as he had ever seen on her face.

Will turned to Charlie, "I thought you said no one knows!"

Charlie scoffed, "No one here, at the hospital. Of course I told Mac!"

"Of course he told me you jackass!" Mac shoved him on the shoulder.

He groaned at the sudden jostling, "Can we go back to you being worried and nice to me?"

She shook her head, "Not until you stop being a massive moron."

Will screwed shut his eyes, the hammer in his brain suddenly beating harder.

When Mackenzie spoke again it was in a deadly whisper right next to his ear, "You can't escape me by shutting your eyes Billy."

He groaned like a petulant child, "Why?"

"Because Billy, " She carefully enunciated, not moving from her position near his ear, "I am beyond pissed at you. For many reasons. As unbelievable as it seems the least of which is the fact that you vomited on my Manolos."

He cracked one eye open, "Did I really?"

She nodded slowly, "Yes, yes you did. All over your shirt and my shoes."

He closed his eyes, "I am so fucked."

"You bet Billy boy."

He groaned again but was saved from a continuation of Mac's lecture by the doctor entering the room.

"Mr. McAvoy? Good to see you awake, my name is Dr. Harr, I'm the attending on this morning."

Will blinked slowly, "This morning? What time is it?"

Charlie glanced at his watch, "Almost 4 am."

"Jesus..." Will breathed.

Dr. Harr nodded, "Yes, that's one of the reasons I wasn't overly concerned with how long you were out. I know it was a busy night for you and can only assume that you, all 3 of you, are relatively exhausted."

Will didn't nod, the hammering in his skull caused him to fear any movement but he did manage a wry smile, "Yeah, you should hook up an IV for Mac over here. I don't think she's slept in 2 months."

He caught her glaring at him out of the corner of his eye and quickly swallowed his smirk.

Dr. Harr smiled accommodatingly, "Well I certainly hope that's not true. But regarding why you're with us; you had a nasty knock on the head. Do you remember the incident?"

Will took a deep breath, "Yeah. I, rightfully, pissed off someone I shouldn't have pissed off and he hit me."

The doctor nodded, "Good, that checks out with what Mr. Skinner explained to us. Can you tell me how you're feeling now?"

Will closed his eyes and focused on breathing, "Like crap."

Dr. Harr nodded, "Dizziness?"

"Yeah."

"Light sensitivity?"

"Yeah."

"Nausea?"

"Mhm."

"Muscle tension?"

"Uh yeah, down my neck."

"Headache?"

"Very much so."

"Double vision? Or Blurry?"

Will opened his eyes and looked around, double checking, "No...not really."

"How about thinking? Can you describe a little bit about what it feels like?"

Will sighed, "Ummm, slow? Hazy. Like it takes conscious effort to think."

The doctor nodded, "Okay. That's fine and to be expected. I believe that you have a grade 2 concussion which typically means with a couple of days of taking it easy and a couple of weeks of just being careful then everything should steadily get better and resolve itself. However in your case I'm a little more concerned, for two reasons and I'll tell you why. There is a part of the skull at the temple called the pterion. It's very thin and it appears that you've fractured it. It doesn't seem to be a problem right now other than I'm sure being painful but these kinds of skull fractures have been known to be connected to a specific kind of brain bleed. Like I said, there's no indication of this yet but it's something to be aware of and be on the look out for potential symptoms. If we suspect a hematoma then you'd need to have immediate surgery. Does that make sense?"

Will gave a small nod. Mac spoke up, "What are the symptoms? Earlier you had told us he was going to be fine and you weren't going to admit him. Are you changing your mind?"

The doctor nodded, "No, if he had ruptured the artery the scans should have already shown that by now. They haven't so I'm relatively certain it shouldn't be a problem so I'm still okay with letting him go home. There is, however always a risk and I needed to inform you of it. Will, I am going to give you a list of all the symptoms so you can just be aware."

Mac nodded and grabbed Will's forearm tightly.

"You said their was a second reason you are concerned?" Charlie asked.

Harr nodded, "Yes, the second reason why I'm concerned is your medical history, Will. It seems you have a rather extensive history of concussions, especially in your youth?"

Will could feel Charlie and Mac's eyes on him and he shrugged, "I played school sports and was a bit of a klutz."

The doctor looked at him knowingly but didn't call him on his obfuscation. "Yes, well, however you got them, people who have a history of concussions, especially in their formative years, tend to experience more severe symptoms, some of which take time to manifest. So as the next couple of days go on you may find your symptoms get worse instead of better or perhaps the introduction of new symptoms like confusion, irritability and mood swings, difficulty speaking and loss of memory, specifically surrounding the time you were hit. Although expected and not necessarily serious, if any of them verge on debilitating you should come back in. In fact if the thought even crosses your mind, don't argue yourself out of it. It's never a bad thing to come back in and get a quick check-in. Always better to be safe then sorry."

Will sighed but didn't say anything.

Doctor Harr looked to Mac and Charlie, "Will, once you're through with the IV there in the next 20 minutes or so we will get you started on the process to get out of here. Ms. McHale has your dirty shirt and I'll make sure someone brings you a clean scrubs shirt you can wear home. I understand you live alone?"

"Yeah..." Will answered already knowing what was coming and dreading the result.

"I'm going to insist that you either go home with one of your friends here or have someone come stay with you for the next couple of days. If no one is available we're going to have to reopen the option of admitting you to the hospital. You really shouldn't be alone for the next 72 hours."

Before he could answer both Mac and Charlie responded at the same time, "We'll take care of him."

Will grimaced and closed his eyes. First Dantana's complaint, then the fight with Mac and now this. Why couldn't he have just kept his big mouth shut?

It was going to be a hellish 3 days.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N - Ahhhhh last night's episode killed my angsty muse...all my angst was suffocated and drowned by a giant overdose fluff and happy goo! I'm going finish this story but I only had it outlined, not fully written when I began posting so it may take me a while and may be a little less angst that I had originally anticipated..._

* * *

It was after 5:30 by the time the three weary coworkers made it back to Will's apartment. He had tried to insist that they could each go to their own home but Charlie had babbled about how it wouldn't make sense to go to Connecticut seeing as he wanted to be at the office in less than 3 hours anyway and Mac just pinned him with a pointed glare until he sighed and decided he was too tired to bother fighting.

He gestured wearily to the kitchen, guest room, and couch mumbling a weary "Make yourself at home." as he shuffled in to his own room, shutting the door behind him.

The sun was pouring into the room when he and he gingerly rolled over and buried his face in his pillow. He felt restless and unsettled and pushed himself up to look at the bedside table. It was 9:30 am. That meant he still had less than 4 hours of sleep but he was still impressed that he managed to sleep in that late. Blinking the blur out of his vision he noticed on the end table was also a glass of water, two ibuprofen tablets and a note.

_"Went in to the office but I'm leaving you in good hands; behave yourself. Rest up, drink plenty of water, feel better and we'll see you back at the studio when you can manage. We have a show to do and __we're going to be okay__. I'm convinced of it. Sorry again for hitting you so hard. -Charlie"_

Will smirked, not missing that Charlie only apologized for the strength of his punch, not the punch itself. He sat up more fully, tossed back the pills and sipped at the water before deciding it was probably time to try and make some breakfast.

When he left his room he was grateful that one of his late night guests had thought to shut the blinds in the rest of the apartment and he felt some of the tension melt as he moved through the dim apartment. He made it as far as the living room before he stopped.

Mac was laying on the couch, still fast asleep, an afghan pulled over her shoulders. Will looked at the wall clock confirming that was indeed pushing 10 o'clock. If it was unusual for him to sleep that late it was impossible for Mackenzie but he supposed she had had even less sleep than he had over the last couple of months. He contemplated waking her but for the first time in too long the worry lines and tension were missing from her face and he couldn't bring himself to disturb her.

It was a while later, just after 10, when Mac finally awoke on her own. After a brief moment of confusion she remembered where she was and why. She rose quickly went immediately to Will's bedroom to check on him. When he wasn't there she wandered back out, "Will?"

"In here."

She followed his muffled response into the kitchen where she found him sitting on one of the island stools, his head buried in his arms on the counter.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, "How are you feeling this morning?"

He shrugged without picking up his head, "Better."

She raised a skeptical eyebrow, "You don't sound better."

He slowly straightened up, keeping his hands braced on the counter top. "Got a little dizzy."

She furrowed her brow, "You weren't dizzy when we came back last night..."

He just grimaced, "No. I wasn't until I tried to bend over to grab the eggs off the bottom shelf."

She looked on the other side of the counter and saw an onion, pepper, bowl and frying pan laid out, unused. "How long ago was that?"

He glanced at the clock, "About 30 minutes?"

She crossed her arms, "How bad is it? Do you want to lie down? Do you think we should be calling Dr. Harr?"

Will held up a hand, "No. I'm fine just sitting here for now."

She looked at him carefully before slowly nodding, "You still hungry?"

It was his turn to appear skeptical, "You're cooking?"

She rolled her eyes, "I'm not helpless, I can make eggs."

"I'll be the judge of that. Just try not to burn anything down, I'm in no shape to go running down the stairs." He smirked.

Mac didn't respond, just opened the fridge, pulled out the eggs and got to work.

Will sat quietly watching her cook. True to her word she proficiently produced two omelettes. They ate in relative silence, allowing each other to be lost in their own thoughts. When they finished she grabbed his plate and moved to the sink and began to wash them.

It was then, with the safety of her back turned to him that Will broke the silence, "You could go home you know, I'm fine."

She snorted but didn't turn around. "Yeah and come back later to find you passed out on you bathroom floor with either a brain bleed or slit wrists? I think I'll stay, thank you very much."

He dropped his head, "I'm not going to kill myself."

He heard the water stop and he looked up to see her staring at him with intensity, "Damn straight you're not."

He opened his mouth but found he had nothing to say so he shut it again and returned his focus to hands picking at the counter top. Her hand came into his field of view and covered his own. "Come over to the couch, we'll watch a movie."

He resisted, "What about work?"

She pulled on his hand again, "What about it?"

"It's almost 11."

She shook her head, "So?"

He shrugged, "We're going to be late."

Mac let go of his hand and stepped away, crossing her arms, "First of all, you're concussed. You're not going to work where you're expected to read, think and respond quickly, have someone constantly chattering in your ear and be under bright and hot studio lights. Secondly, as of the end of last night's broadcast I'm unemployed so I don't need to be anywhere. Come on, let's watch a movie."

Will's shoulders slumped, "Come on Mac, you're not fired."

She sighed and closed her eyes, "Don't do this Will."

"Don't do what?"

She looked away, "Look, I'm sorry I said what I did. It was wrong of me to accuse you of caring more about your image but that doesn't mean you were wrong. I should be fired. It was the the right thing to do and I don't feel like rehashing this argument, nor should you. If you get your blood pressure too high and you could literally bust a blood vessel so how about we just table it for now and take the day to recharge. I haven't told anyone and I assume other than Charlie that you haven't so let's take the day and we can talk about it again later, when you're feeling better and I've had more than 4 hours of sleep in 2 months."

"I told you you needed to sleep." Will grumbled.

Mac rolled her eyes, "Yes, well so you should be happy I'm taking time now."

Will still resisted, "But if no one knows you're fired they will be looking for you today."

She shrugged, "Charlie went in to the office and will let people know that you have a concussion and I need to babysit you. Between Jim and Don and Elliot and Sloan the show will run just fine." She took a deep breath, a pleading look on her face, "Come on Will, please. Just forget about it. Lie down on the couch and just let it go for a day. Please."

Will still sat there on the kitchen stool, a stupefied look on his face. Mac tilted her head to try and make eye contact with him. "Will?"

He blinked and looked at her curiously, "Why are you here?"

She let out an exasperated sigh, "What are you talking about? I told you, you're a grown-ass man who needs a babysitter."

He brushed away her comment and leaned forward, "But why are _you_ here?"

She shook her head, "Don't be stupid."

"I'm concussed, I'm allowed to be confused." He whined.

"Not about me." She snapped back.

He blinked again and spoke so quietly that it was practically a murmur, "I'm always confused about you."

Mac glared at him with such intensity that he was certain he did something wrong. She silently stepped forward and situated herself on the stool next to him, leaned forward and putting her hands on his knees, "Let me make it perfectly clear, you idiot. I'm here because I'm worried about you and I want to make sure you're okay...from either the concussion or from any of the ridiculousness you were talking to Charlie about..."

"I told you I'm not..."

She waved a hand, "No, I don't want your excuses. The complete lack of thinking that went into having any part of you think that killing yourself was even close to an acceptable solution...even if it was just momentary insanity...it blows my freaking mind. What would have happened had Charlie actually left you? Would you have actually gone through with it before you realized what a colossal ass you were being? How little do you think of the people around you? Charlie told me that you thought I would be able to go back to work...what the _HELL_ makes you think I would be willing to go anywhere near that job if something had happened? Last night you accused me of thinking you were a jerk, well let me volley this back to you: how cold hearted do you think I am?"

Will's eyes went wide, "I _don't _at all! I just...after last night it seemed...I don't know, that maybe you'd be happier without me around?"

Mackenzie rolled her eyes, an amused grin playing across her lips, "You are far too smart to be this dumb Billy, but I don't want you launching yourself off the balcony so let me spell it out and make this perfectly clear for you: I love you. Even when I'm mad as hell at you I love you so much it makes me crazy. I have for years, I've never stopped. I tried to move on because it seems the healthy thing to do but that was an exercise in futility. It's okay that you don't love me back and it's okay that we will never be _we _again. I understand I blew that...but everything will not be okay if you're not okay. So I'm sleeping on your coach and making you breakfast because I need for you to be okay because I love you."

She peered into his eyes, biting her lip and waiting for his reaction.

He stared at her blankly. A subdued "Oh." was all he said.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, standing to walk away. His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist before she could move far.

She spun around, "What?"

"I didn't know that." His voice was low and there was a lost look on his face.

Mac smiled sadly at him, "Then you really are an idiot."

He tightened his hold on her wrist and pulled her closer again, "Come into work with me."

"Will..." She sighed.

"I know. And I heard you. And if it were any other day I'd agree with you. But today's important. If Leona won't let us resign, and I'm not firing you, then we can't leave Charlie to fight alone. And I can't not go on the air tonight. It will look like I'm hiding. And I'm _not _doing our show without you. Please. Come to the studio with me."

She stood still, searching his eyes for any trace of doubt. She finally sighed and looked down. "You really shouldn't Billy."

"I have to." He insisted.

She nodded reluctantly, "Yes, I suppose you do."

"So...yes?" He pushed.

"Yes. With the following conditions; I'm going to call Jim and have him run the pitch meeting _and_ the 2 o'clock run down. You are going to relax here for another couple of hours then as long as you can get through a shower without passing out we will go to my place so I can get a change of clothes before going to the office in time to prep for the 4 o'clock. We are going to staff out most of the writing of your script and you are going to take a nap after the end of the 4 o'clock and before the 6. Do you understand?"

Will tried to suppress the smirk, "I do."

She pushed a finger into his chest, "I'm serious Billy, if you're going to do this it's going to be with as minimal effort as possible. That doctor scared me and we're not going to take this lightly. Do you understand?"

He nodded, "I understand."

She stepped back and nodded, "Good. Now will you please go lie down and decide on a movie to watch while I call Jim and Charlie?"

Will smiled and held up his hands placatingly. "Of course. On my way."

As he made his way to the living room he was still dizzy and nauseous and the pounding had returned to right behind his eye...and he was feeling better than he had in a long time.


	6. Chapter 6

True to Mackenzie's plan it was well after 3 by the time she and Will made it into the office. She watched him brace himself against the wall of the elevator as they rocketed up the 25 floors and cursed herself for giving in to him when she saw him wince at the bright lights and noise of the bullpen.

Will offered her a grimace as if to say he could read her thoughts before ducking into his office. She followed him in and crossed her arms as he immediately sat down and put his head on the desk.

"We shouldn't be here."

He looked up tiredly, "We have to be here."

She shook her head, "You say that but it's not absolutely true Will. You _can_ go home. And you probably should."

He held up a hand and closed his eyes and she gave him the unasked for moment of quiet.

He took a deep breath and opened his eyes, "The elevator ride shook me up is all. I'll be fine long before we have to go on the air."

She bit her lip and shifted her weight, regarding him carefully and searching for any indication that he was worse than he claimed. "Okay," She agreed hesitantly, "But you need to promise me you'll let me know other wise."

He shot her a wary look but said nothing. It was then that Jim knocked and ducked his head into the room, "Is this a good time?"

Mac spared a final glance at Will then turned to Jim, "No, it's fine, come on in."

Jim stepped in and carefully shut the door behind him. "How you feeling Will?"

"Concussed." The anchor replied dryly.

"Yeah, we heard. What happened?" Jim asked with concern.

Will smirked, "I got a concussion."

Mac rolled her eyes and Jim furrowed his brow, "Yeah, no. I mean, I just meant how?"

Will shrugged, "I was being stupid. I got hit on the head, don't worry about it. I'm fine." He ignored Mac's pointed glare.

Jim looked between his two bosses before approaching Will's desk. "Well, um, if you're sure,"

"I am." Will insisted.

Jim nodded, "Well I figured you two would like to see what we've put together this morning." He placed the folders in his hands on the desk, "It's still a segment long so we need to cut something at the 4 but we figured Mac might be demanding you keep it easy on the air tonight so we've given Sloan a double block to not only do her typically market review but she has some extra discussion about the electorate and it's reflection of the diversity of economic regions within the country."

Will nodded lightly, "It's a little cliche. If we're going long that could be a place we cut."

Mac crossed her arms, "Yes but it is a worthwhile discussion and if it's 5 more minutes of Sloan than that's 5 minutes less that you have to be on camera."

Will rolled his eyes, "How about we just do 50 minutes of panelists and guests, then I don't need to be on the air at all." he yelled and then immediately groaned and dropped his head into his hands.

Mac leaned over the desk in a quiet but clearly irritated voice, "I've already made it clear that I'd be more than happy with that. You're the one who insists you need to be here today. You'll be there, you'll introduce the show and each story and segment. No one will be able to accuse you of hiding but if we can make it so the show is even just a little easier tonight you better be damn sure that that is what I'm going to see happen and I don't give a damn about your wounded pride."

Will just mumbled in to his hands.

Mac shook her head in disgust and shot a look at Jim. "For sure we will be cutting any editorial commentary segment seeing as apparently raising his voice for even a sentence is enough to immobilize him for 10 minutes."

Will groaned again, "Okay!" He mumbled, still not looking up.

Mac tilted her head, tension melting out of her frame as she looked at him and seeming to take pity, "Billy?" she asked in a softer voice.

"Mrhm?"

"I'm going to take Jim into my office and look these over and then I'll check back in with you with what we decided after 4. Why don't you stay here? I can send someone in with some orange juice?"

Will slowly picked up his head and Jim was struck by the miserable look that the older man seemed unable to hide, "That would be good." He agreed quietly.

Mac had stepped around the desk and put her hand on his shoulder, "How about you just put your head down on the desk for a while? Maybe if you're feeling better later you can check in with Charlie? I think he'd like that."

"Yeah." He responded while already settling himself back on the desk.

* * *

By the time 7:50 had rolled around Mac had guided the staff to craft a streamlined show consisting mostly of reports from the field, video packages and Sloan's 10 minutes of election economic breakdown. Will had spent most of the afternoon in his office with the exception of 30 minutes when he had disappeared, presumably to Charlie's office.

With 10 minutes to air he was looking much better than when Jim had first seen him, not that that was hard to accomplish. After that earlier meeting Jim had seriously wondered how the heck Will had managed to get Mackenzie to agree to let him on the air. Though, Jim figured when it came to Will, Mac almost never was able to say no.

Regardless, time seemed to do the trick and even though you could see the tension around his eyes and how he moved, Will appeared ready to go on the air and the staff was convinced no one at home would be able to tell there was anything off about the beleaguered anchor. If anyone did think they saw any extra tension they would surely assume it had something to do with the Dantana suite and suspect nothing else.

Although worried for Will, the team was confident in his ability to carry the show, no matter what.

Things went downhill almost immediately.

When he stepped into the studio the bright lights momentarily stunned him and the pained and frustrated look was impossible to miss on his face. He set his jaw and squinted. Mac exchanged a worried glance with Jim.

"If he moves back and to the left about 3 inches it will be better for him and we can catch more of the light reflection off the desk and hide the squint a little." Herb offered.

Mac nodded gratefully, "We can do that?"

He shrugged, "It will look a little brighter than normal and may be a little washed out but that's probably not a bad thing for tonight."

Mac turned, "Tess, can you go out there and get him set how Herb suggests?"

With the change Will was able to relax a little more and his constant squint didn't come across to the camera.

"Thank God for lighting tricks." Murmured Mac before she moved for her sound check, "30 seconds. How you doing Will?"

He visibly flinched at the sound in his ear.

"Shit." Mac cursed and took a deep breath. "Okay Will, I know this hurts so let's just get to the first break. I promise I will try to talk as little as possible and save it for when the camera isn't on you."

Will gave a short nod and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as the roll in started.

"Good Evening and welcome to News Night, I'm Will McAvoy..." and unbelievably he was off and thanks to Herb's adjustments it was near impossible to tell anything was wrong unless you looked closely for it.

There were a few times when he went off script and Mac assumed that was because he couldn't bring himself to keep reading the back lit words on the teleprompter but he was staying on topic so she let it go without mention.

She was actually feeling more relaxed and confident about the broadcast until the first commercial break.

"And we're out. 2:30 back." Commented Herb.

Before Mac could offer a good job, Will had pushed away from the desk and was vomiting into the small trash can at his feet.

Her eyes grew wide and she spun calling to Jim as she left the control room, "Find Don and find Elliot. Tell him to get his tie and jacket on!"

She burst into the studio and came up behind Will, who was still bent over, dry heaving. She placed her hand on his back and rubbed smooth circles, "Hey...it's okay. Focus on taking deep breaths."

When she was certain he was no longer vomiting she moved her hand to his shoulder, "Come on, why don't you sit up a little? Try to sip some water."

She swallowed deeply and tried not to let her concerned imagination get the better of her as she watched his hands shake as they reached for the mug.

He closed his eyes, sipping from the cup.

"90 seconds" She heard Herb in her ear and she could curse the man as she watched Will flinch again.

"Okay. Okay. Let's do this..." She spoke soothingly while she removed his earpiece for him. He opened his eyes and looked at her, confused.

"Come on, " She put a hand on his elbow, "Elliot is going to take over for the rest of tonight. It's okay, let's go."

Will's eyes got wide and he gave a small shake of his head, "No." He demanded hoarsely.

"Will..." Mac ran a frustrated hand down her face, "You can't do this. You can't stand having any of us in your ear, you're barely able to keep your eyes on the prompter, I know the lights are killing you and you just vomited up the entire contents of your stomach, which really wasn't much to begin with. Stop being stupid and stubborn and for once take care of yourself."

"60 seconds."

Will swallowed, "I'm doing this."

"Billy..." Mac hated that she was resorting to begging but she would if she had too.

But Will was steadfast, taking a few deep breaths, "I can do this Mac. I just need you to let me just do this."

"Why Billy? Why? You're just hurting yourself."

"30 seconds."

He looked at her with an intensity she hadn't seen in days, "I don't want to give Charlie any reason to feel any worse. I feel badly enough to have put him in that situation as it is. It's really not a big deal, it is just a concussion after all. A well deserved one at that. And Christ, as if you're one to talk; you went back out to report from the field in a war zone less than a week after you got _stabbed_. I think the very least I can do is deal with a headache while sitting in my my comfy chair in my safe studio. It's really not too much of a burden to bare if it means helping Charlie and protecting this show and network from any further embarrassment."

Mac's mouth hung open and she just blinked at him.

"10 seconds."

Even if she disagreed enough there wasn't enough time left so she nodded robotically, "Okay. We've got the Biden SoT that we cut sitting in reserve so if you need a break just throw to that and we'll have your back."

"Thanks Mac." He whispered.

She only shook her head as she left the studio.

The rest of the show did nothing to calm Mackenzie's frayed nerves.

With Will unable to handle the ear piece in she resorted to standing in the studio next to camera with Jim relaying information to her from the control room and her visually miming it to Will or writing it out.

After another bout with dry heaves in the 3rd commercial break she had a small cup of ice place on his side table and surreptitiously tucked a cube in to his cuff against his pulse point. He had squirmed but continued to replace it as it melted during the show.

During another break they had to bring Meghan from make-up back out so that she could reapply as his sweat was creating rivulets along the sides of his face.

By the end of the show he indicated that Sloan should keep going and extra 40 seconds leaving him no room for a substantive contribution at the conclusion of the broadcast.

Finally, after what seemed like the longest hour long broadcast in her life, Mac watched as he turned to Camera 1, "Thank you Sloan, obviously something we will be hoping for you to keep us appraised on in the weeks to come. As for now, Terry Smith is coming up with the Capital Report from Washington. I'm Will McAvoy, Goodnight."

"Aaaaand we're out."

Mac breathed a sigh of relief at Herb's announcement and she grinned at Will, "We're out and you're done you stupid idiot. Let's get out of here before you puke again."

Will gave her a small wane smile. He braced his hands on the desk and stood up a fraction before sitting back down, his eyes rolling back and he slumped out of his chair.


	7. Chapter 7

"_Billy!_" Mac shouted and rushed around the desk, ignoring the exclamations coming through her headset and pushing past Sloan who was standing at her own chair, shock on her face.

By the time she made it to his side Will was blinking slowly and holding up a hand, "I'm fine...I'm fine...just...needed to...not be up...anymore...I guess..."

Mackenzie choked back a sob of relief hearing him speak and forced her voice not to quiver, instead coming out harsher than she intended, "You just couldn't stand up? You're _not_ fine, Billy. Don't tell me you're fine. I don't want to hear that again."

He had squeezed his eyes shut but rocked his head in her direction and pried them open, taking in her distraught face, "Mac..." he started but she cut him off.

"Don't. Just...Just be still, okay?" She placed her hand on his chest and her words drifted off to more of a plea than an order.

"Kenz, what can I do?" Mac turned to look up at Sloan who was looking as scared as she felt.

Mac tried to put on a reassuring smile for her friend, "Sure, can you find something he can use as a pillow? And find Jim?"

"I'm here!" Shouted a frantic Jim, bursting through the studio door and rounding the other side of the desk.

Mac breathed out in relief. After she had been stabbed in Islamabad Jim had coped by taking every field medical course he could find and while she had teased him about his new found passion for emergency medicine she had found it endearing and comforting and now she could not be more grateful.

"What's going on?"

"I'm fine!" Will insisted again to which Mac just applied more pressure as if keeping him from moving would make him stop talking.

Jim breathed out a sigh of relief, "So he's concious. That's good. Will, you can hear me?"

"Yes, hence my previously telling you that I'm fine." Will grumbled.

"Well you collapsed and in the past 2 years and 8 months I've known you I haven't observed that to be normal behavior for you so how about we assume you're not exactly fine?" Jim replied, still breathing away his own panic and carefully loosening Will's tie and collar before placing his fingers on Will's neck, searching for his pulse.

Will just grumbled to himself but didn't complain when Sloan returned with Neal's sweater which she handed to Mac who folded it and gently placed it behind Will's head.

Jim sighed, "Your pulse is really too fast right now. It's as if you were just running a marathon, not just sitting at a desk. Did you just get light headed or did you actually loose conciousness?"

"I don't know."

Jim grimaced, "Can you tell me what you remember?"

Will sighed, "I went to stand up but I felt dizzy and the corners of my vision got a little dusty so I decided it was better to sit back down and I don't know if I missed the chair or what but next thing I know I was on the ground and Mac was yelling at me."

"For good reason." Mac defended herself.

Jim nodded, "Okay it sounds like you did loose conciousness even if it was just for a few seconds."

Mac swallowed, "Should we be calling 911?"

"Please don't..." Whined Will.

"Shut up, you don't have a say in this." She snapped at him, looking to Jim for direction.

Jim bit the inside of his cheek, "I don't think so. He's concious and lucid and it doesn't seem like he hurt himself further."

Will sighed, "Thank god."

"But..." Jim cut in, "He should probably still go in to get checked by a doctor. I understand with the lights and everything this wasn't the best envioroment for someone with a concussion but it's been almost 24 hours. He should be getting better, not worse. I wish we had a blood pressure cuff."

Mac's eyes went wide and her hand went from pressing on Will's chest to clenching his shirt.  
"Jim...he...his...the way he got hit, it was right on the temple and he broke the little bone there and the doctor said that sometimes that ruptures the blood vessel underneath and it can lead to a brain bleed and that he needs to keep his blood pressure low because that could exacerbate...Jim...?"

She was unable to keep the shake out of her voice and she bit her lip as she stared at her senior producer.

Jim gave her a small smile and reached out a hand to lay on her arm. "Okay. Okay Mac."

He returned his attention to Will who was in the process of slowly blinking his eyes open again. He turned his head to look around Jim and catch Mackenzie's eye, "Mac...Mackenzie..." He raised his hand and covered hers still on his chest, prying it off of his shirt and replacing the material by threading his fingers through her own. "Mac. It's okay. I'm sorry I scared you. I'm sorry. It's okay. Remember the Doc said it would get worse before it gets better just because I've had so many before? It's not an anyeurism, I would know and I probably would be able to talk to you right now. It's okay."

Mac nodded and swallowed deeply, "Shut up and listen to Jim." She said in a soft voice.

Will spared another moment of eye contact with her before nodding and turning his attention to Jim who gave him a small smile.

"Good to see you open your eyes. How's the light?"

Will smirked, "The shadow of the desk is helping."

Jim nodded, "Yeah. I need you to do me a favor though and follow my finger. If you start to get naseous or dizzy let me know."

Will grimaced but did as he was told, following Jim's finger as he moved it left and right, up and down. Jim then leaned in closer and if it weren't for the death grip Mackenzie had on his hand he would have been tempted to make a joke but he settled for remaining silent and letting Jim check his pupil dilation.

Jim finally sat back and looked up at Mackenzie. "I think he's right. I don't see or hear any evidence that there is anything more serious going on than some very severe concussion symptoms." He turned his attention to Will, "If you've had enough concussions to warrent this kind of reaction I would have thought you'd know better what your limits are. You need to be careful."

Will shrugged, "I haven't had one in 30 years. But don't worry, I don't think Ms. McHale here is going to be allowing me to get away with much of anything now."

"You're damn right I won't!" She replied, her fear finally transforming into anger, "We're going back to the hospital and Dr. Harr and then if you're lucky enough that he doesn't admit you, you're going home and you're not going to so much as move unless I give you permission and you sure as hell are not coming back here for the rest of the week. Do you hear me?"

Will winced, "Yes. Very clearly. You're yelling very loudly, very close to me."

She glared at him and shook her head. "Douchebag."

He gave her an innocent smile which she did not return although she did give his hand a little squeeze.

"Okay," She looked around at the crowd which had gathered around the desk. She smiled comfortingly at all the concerned faces of the staff. "Thank you everyone but he's going to be okay. We're going to get him checked out and then we'll see you all on Monday. Jim will be in charge of the rundowns for the next two days and Charlie will work out who will anchor the broadcasts. But for now thank you for your concern but you should all feel free to go home for the evening."

She looked back down at Will who had closed his eyes again, "Your staff is worried about you."

He opened his eyes again and sighed, "Thanks guys." He raised his free hand in a parting wave to the staff who mostly dispersed with a chorus of "Feel better." and "See you Monday."

Jim, Mac, Sloan, Don and Elliot were all who remained in the studio. Feeling much more calm and reassured Mac untwined her fingers from Will's and gave him a pat on the chest, "Come on now. Time to get up. At least this time we should be at the hospital before midnight. Just try not to puke on my shoes again."

Will let out an amused snort but made no move to sit up.

"Will..." Mac sighed and looked to the others in the room for assistance.

"Here we go..." Elliot stepped in, tucked his hands under Will's arms and carefully pulled him to a sitting position.

"Whoa..." Will grumbled when he was leaning against Elliot's legs.

"Careful now and get your bearings. Next step is standing up and I have to be on air in less than an hour so I don't need your vomitting on me either." warned the younger anchor.

"Don't worry about it. Don't think I have anything left in me." Will mumbled.

"Good then. Here we go." Elliot pulled Will the rest of the way to standing and immediatly moved to drape Will's arm over his shoulder.

Will squeezed his eyes shut, and wobbled slightly but found his balance soon enough and squinted at Elliot. "How the hell did you get so strong?"

Elliot smirked, "Kids. You wouldn't believe how heavy a 5 year old can make herself when she doesn't want to be picked up." He turned them so they were no longer facing the bright studio lights and were headed out the studio door. "Come on, I'll get you to your office so you can change before Mac takes you home."

"Thanks." Will mumbled.

"No problem brother, come on." He guided him out the door.

* * *

20 minutes later Mac was pacing in Will's office, waiting for him to exit the bathroom. She was cursing herself for agreeing to allow him to change before she and Jim escorted him to the hospital for the second time in 24 hours.

Impatiently she knocked on the door. "Will, if you aren't out here in the next 2 minutes I'm coming in there!"

"Come on in." She almost missed the quiet invitation. Her heart sped up and she burst into the small room to find him sitting on the closed lid of the toilet holding his jeans in his hand. He had changed into his t-shirt and flannel but had nothing but his socks and boxers on his legs.

She stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind her. "What's going on?"

He looked up at her with such a forelorn look that she couldn't keep the pity off her face.

"I can't put my pants on. Every time I bend over I get dizzy again." He mumbled, turning and looking down as he spoke.

Mac relaxed the tension from her shoulders. "How'd you get your dress pants off?"

He indicated the pool of black material in the corner. "I just kicked them off. It wasn't until it was too late that I realized I was going to have a problem."

She nodded, "Okay, give me those."

She took the jeans from his hands and held them open as he stepped in to them and then she pulled them up until he was able to grab them and pull them the rest of the way up.

"Thank you." He muttered, still looking down as he fastened the pants.

She smiled softly at him. "It's nothing. I'm glad you asked. What would you have done if I hadn't knocked?"

He shurgged, "I'm creative. Would have thought of something eventually...or just fall asleep on the toilet."

She smirked at him and she was relieved to find him smiling back, breaking some of the tension.

"Come on, sit down again and I'll help you get your shoes on."

He sighed but did as he was told. "I hate feeling like I'm 3 years old."

She shrugged as she bent over to help him slip on his shoes, "Things could be a lot worse." She tried to stifle the sudden memory of him collapsing and the absolute fear that had assaulted her.

"Mac?" He interuppted her thoughts tenderly.

She looked up to seem him staring intently at her. "What?"

"I..." He trailed off, eyes tracing her face.

"Will? What?" She sat back on her heels and placed a hand on his knee.

He licked his lips, "I...I'm really sorry is all. I don't understand how I could have been so stupid and I know I've put you and Charlie and everyone through a lot of stress and I'm really sorry. I don't ...I don't deserve yo...I don't deserve for you to be so kind to me right now."

Mackenzie let out a sad sigh. "It's okay and yes you do. Every now and then everyone needs and deserves someone to take care of them. It's okay to not be the protector for once in your life."

She finished tying his shoe and then stood up, placing her hands on his shoulders. "You're not fine right now but you're going to be soon and I'm happy to be here until you are." She bit her lip for a second before seeming to come to a desicion and she leaned in to place a brief and gentle kiss to the side of his head, right above his temple.

"Come on. Jim is waiting with a cab downstairs."

She held out her hand and waited until he grasped it and pulled himself up. To her surpise he twisted his palm in hers and didn't let go as she led him out his office and down to the waiting cab.


	8. Chapter 8

The trip to the hospital was mercifully short. Dr. Harr confirmed that Will had simply exacerbated his already pronounced symptoms but he was other wise on track to make a full and timely recovery. He gave Will a short prescription to help with the dizziness and a lecture on the definition of resting. They were on their way home before midnight and Will was sound asleep as soon as his head touched the pillow shortly after 12:30.

His first sensation upon waking up was someone stroking his hair. It felt good and he forced himself still, afraid if he gave away the fact that he was awake that the blissful sensation would end. Soon enough he heard Mackenzie's familiar, lilting accent from beside him, "Will...Come on now. Wake up. Just for a minute."

"Mrmph?" He questioned unintelligibly into his pillow.

"Well I guess that's a start." Mac commented dryly and he felt her pull back, sitting on the edge of the bed. It took all of his effort not to whine as she pulled her fingers from their ministrations on his scalp.

"Come on Billy. Show me you're awake." She prodded again, her palm tapping his shoulder.

He heaved out a sigh and slowly rolled over, squinting the sleep from his eyes. "Why? What is it?"

Mac smiled gently at him, "Just checking in. I know the doctor said you're allowed to sleep but it's late and I wanted to just make sure you were okay. You can go back to sleep now."

He tried to glance at his clock but he couldn't make it out from his angle and with the blinds down he had no way of knowing the time. "What time is it?" He grumbled.

She glanced at the clock, "9:45. You've been asleep over 9 hours."

That got his attention and he let out a long breath. "Wow. Two days in a row after 9. This is turning in to a habit."

She smiled, "Considering how little sleep you normally get I'd say it isn't the worst habit in the world to indulge in."

He frowned, "How would you know how much sleep I get?"

She rolled her eyes, "Other than the linguistic aerobics you perform when you've got insomnia? Half the time when you can't sleep you end up on the phone with me. And the other half of the time you're sending emails at 4 am."

He grumbled but decided to ignore her observations, focusing instead on pulling himself into a seated position and leaning against the headboard.

She watched him with a watchful eye, "How are you feeling?"

"Better." He answered honestly.

She nodded, "That isn't hard considering last night. How about details?"

He took a deep breath and use the time to take an honest self inventory. "It doesn't actively hurt to open my eyes and the headache is less and I don't feel like the world is spinning faster than normal but I haven't stood up yet so who knows?"

Sympathy crossed her face and she reached out her hand but pulled it back and let it drop to the covers before it reached his arm. "That's good. Why don't you go back to sleep? Maybe the headache will be even less later?"

He shrugged, "I think that 9 hours are enough for now. I don't think I'd be able to sleep knowing what time it is."

She stood, straightening her blouse, "Okay. Well then, how about you at least stay in bed for a little while still? What can I bring you? A bagel? The paper?"

He nodded, "Sounds good. Orange juice too?"

She smiled, "Of course."

As soon as she left Will glanced around the room and shifted on the bed, feeling restless and agitated. He pulled at his t-shirt and sniffed it. He could catch the vague scent of hospital on it. Figuring that was what was making him restless he gingerly got out of bed to grab a new shirt.

He was in the middle of changing when Mackenzie came back in to the room. "Oh! I'm sorry..." She stuttered.

When she had come in he had frozen momentarily but shook himself out of it, muttering, "Nothing you haven't seen before." before carefully pulling a clean shirt over his head. When he turned back to her she was staring at him with a bright blush coloring her fair skin. He shifted on his feet, unsure of what to do with the sudden tension. "The good news is that I got up and I don't feel dizzy." He offered with a small smile.

The return of the focus to his health seemed to be enough to shake Mac out of herself and she smiled, "Good! I'm willing to bet that the good night's sleep did you a lot of good."

He nodded, "Hopefully."

She placed the paper on the bed and the bagel juice on the nightstand. "It still doesn't mean you're going to be doing anything other than lying down for the rest of the day though..."

Will smirked and sat back on the bed, "I know."

Mackenzie crossed her arms and watched him carefully.

"What?"

She narrowed her eyes, "I'm waiting for the rest of the sentence."

He looked at her as if she had grown two heads, "The rest of what sentence?"

She sighed and put on her best american male accent, "I know...but if I'm still feeling better after breakfast then...then...I'm going Rebecca and schedule a meeting with her and Charlie...or something..." She trailed off.

He raised his eyebrows in amusement but said nothing to mock her terrible mimicry. Instead he just said, "Nope." and looked at her with a simple, honest expression as he sipped his orange juice.

Her accusatory stance faltered, "Really?"

"Really." He leaned forward to grab the front page of the paper. "I told you last night, I feel terrible for all that I've put you and Charlie through the past couple of days. I did the broadcast last night which was all I really needed to do so for now you're going to get your wish and I am going to do everything you say."

Mac relaxed her shoulders for a fraction of a second before resuming her crossed arms, "You're fooling me right now."

He shook his head and turned his attention to the paper in front of him. "I'm really not."

She watched him read the paper and munch quietly on his bagel for a couple of moments before she gave up trying to figure out his game plan. "Okay...well then...I'll just leave you to it...I'll be..." She gestured awkwardly over her shoulder to the door.

He looked up, confusion on his face, "Where are you going?"

She gestured again to the door, "I'll just be in the living room."

He looked to the paper, "You don't want to read the paper at all?"

She waved him off, "I'll grab it when you're done with it. I have my tea and iPad in the other room."

He shrugged, "Go get them and bring them in here. It's a big paper, I can share."

She bit her lip, utterly confused, "You want me to share the paper. With you. In here?"

"Well I'm not forcing you or anything." He replied slowly. "I'm just saying if you want to read the paper, and I want to read the paper and you won't let me out of bed then it makes sense for you to just stay here. Unless you want some personal space this morning?"

She was quick to shake her head, "No...I just...yeah. Okay."

She ducked out of the room and he watched her go, allowing a fond smile to settle on his face. He was almost as surprised at his own insistence as she was but for some reason he just didn't want to spend the morning alone so he was happy she capitulated with out him needing to pester.

She came back into the room a moment later, arms full of tea, her own half eaten bagel, iPad and magazines. She hesitated in the doorway before setting down her mug and climbing on to the mattress next to him. He kept his eyes on the article in front of him but a smile quirked at his lips as he felt Mac settle herself against the head board with a shuffle of pillows. She reached across him, grabbing the Op/Ed page and finally settled back, sipping on her tea and reading.

They stayed the rest of the morning in bed splitting the paper and discussing the articles and issues. She would cut him off with a stern "No working!" whenever he would connect an event to something they could do in the show or suggest that they call Jim to advise on the handling of a particular issue.

Shortly after noon the doorbell rang and despite Mac's protests, Will followed her out of the bedroom when she went to answer the door.

"I'm going to get bed sores if I don't move around sometime!" He groused.

"Fine, but go sit on the couch!"

He rolled his eyes and moved to the kitchen, grabbing a glass of water for himself before following her direction and going to the couch.

She met him there, carrying a cardboard box. "I could have gotten you some water."

He shrugged, "I was rebelling and doing something on my own."

"What happened to you were going to do everything I say?" She glared.

"I am sitting on the couch, just like you told me to. You never specifically said to not stop by the kitchen first."

She huffed in annoyance but sat down next to him and began to open the box.

"Hey," he lamented, "Shouldn't you NOT be opening my mail?"

She shook her head, "It was delivered by messenger and it clearly says 'For Will AND Mac'. That's me."

"Who the hell is sending us a package?" Wondered Will aloud, trying to look over Mackenzie's shoulder.

His curiosity increased 10 fold when she began to laugh and he pawed at her shoulder until she shifted over so he could lean closer and see inside the box.

There were many items including a blindfold, earplugs and aspirin as well as a stack of DVDs of various classic musicals a picture of a bottle of bourbon and a letter.

Will picked up the picture of the bourbon, curious to see what Charlie had written. "_Things are going surprisingly well so no need to be concerned with anything other than that head of yours. I was even inspired to buy this 23 year old bottle of Pappy Van Winkle and I'm not going to share any of it with you until you're 100% better so don't be an ass._"

Will smiled and handed the picture to Mac who furrowed her brow in curiosity and smiled, "I'll have to call him later and figure out what he means by things are going surprisingly well. Did he say anything to you yesterday?"

Will shook his head, "No. Mostly just lectured me about being at work and then had some meeting with Reese."

Mac shrugged and opened the other letter and read it aloud,

"_Hi guys, We figured we would send somethings along to keep you occupied so that Will doesn't try to come back to work again before he's supposed to. You probably have some of the movies already but everyone donated their favorite so if you're bored you can try and guess who gave what. The blindfold is to help with your light sensitivity Will...the girls were concerned about you being able to rest during the day with all the windows in your apartment. The earplugs are for you Mac. Please use them whenever Will starts to drive you crazy and hopefully it will be enough to keep you from killing him because we really do want the two of you back on Monday (and in one piece!). Along those same lines, the aspirin is for both of you, we weren't sure who might need it more! Feel better Will and rest up Mac. Don't worry about things here...it's always smoother when you're around but we can hold down the fort for a few days and things are looking pretty good around here. Let us know if you need anything, we've got your back! _

_~ Your Newsnight 2.0 Family_"

Every free space of the page was filled with a signature and small wish to feel better from everyone on the staff. Mac sniffed and blinked back the tears in her eyes and she handed the note to Will to read for himself. He found himself rereading the note a few times, more than slightly stunned. He managed to mask how touched he was with a grimace, "I resent the implications that I'm so difficult that you'll need ear plugs and aspirin."

"Of course...why would anyone think that is beyond me." Mac patronized.

Will pulled out a few of the DVDs, "Well let's see what kind of tastes our staff has, shall we? _Gentlemen Prefer Blondes_?"

Mac smiled, "Oh, that's Jim's!"

Will quirked an eyebrow, "Reaaaaaaaally?" he sneered.

Mac slapped his arm, "Yes. Shush. _Gypsy_...That's probably Elliot?"

Will nodded, "Probably and _A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum_ is going to be Gary..."

"_Chorus Line_... That's Sloan"

"No...Sloan is going to be _The Producers."_

"I bet this is Maggie's; _Kiss me Kate_."

"_Phantom_ is Don and _Porgy and Bess_ is Kendra."

"Herb is _The Pirates of Penzance _and Joey is _Singing in the Rain."_

"_Damn Yankees _is Martin and _Funny Girl_ is Tess...or maybe that's Tamera and_ A Star is Born_ is Tess?"

_"_What about Neal? Is it wrong to suspect he's behind _ The King and I?"_

_"_No, no no. I know he had to have turned in _Evita. _But check this out, looks like Reese was involved too..."

Will was holding up a copy of _How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. _They dissolved into laughter which only increased when they opened the case to find a sticky note from the man himself, "_So what if it's my favorite? I also happen to have an Ivy League MBA. Mom says stop being sick. See you next week. -RL_"

Will leaned back and smiled, "Okay...okay. That was good."

Mac grinned, "I may have a little less disrespect for him now..."

Will shook his head. "Alright, let's get this afternoon moving! I'll order lunch, you pick out the first movie."


	9. Chapter 9

_"Okay. I'll let him know. Thank you for understanding. 10 am. See you tomorrow. Thank you again."_

Will slowly became aware that the words he was hearing were not coming from the television set; it was Mac and her voice was quiet and sounding much further away than the other side of the couch. He blinked open his eyes and immediately groaned as his eyes flicked to the clock on the wall; 9 pm.

He had slept through his scheduled time for his headache pills and he was instantly regretting it. Additionally his haphazard position on the couch had his neck and knee loudly protesting their discomfort through his nerve system.

He glanced at the tv and idly registered the ending credits of West Side Story. He and Mac had decided that it must have been Jennifer's submission before sticking it in the player and last Will remembered, Tony had been wandering through the streets of New York singing how he had just met a girl named Maria.

He heard the door to the balcony open and close and he slowly pulled himself into a sitting position, greeting her with a rough, "Hey..."

She smiled softly at him, "You're awake."

"Yeah...movie's over." He gestured listlessly in the direction of the television screen.

Mac nodded, "Apparently. How about you head to bed? It's early but you'll probably be more comfortable than falling asleep on the couch again."

He offered an unintelligible grunt in response, focusing instead on pushing himself up fully and rolling the kinks out of his shoulders.

Mac hovered on the other side of the room, crossing her arms across her middle as she watched him wince and stretch.

"Can I get you anything?" She asked after a few beats of awkward silence.

He shook his head. "Who was on the phone?" He grumbled.

"Hrm?"

He stilled at Mac's all too innocent tone and drilled her with a knowing glare. "The phone Mac. Who were you talking to? That you'll see tomorrow at 10?"

Mac twisted her fingers and swallowed before taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders, "Dr. Habib."

Will's eye's flew up to hers, his eyebrows arching and the all to familiar look of building anger crossing his face, _"What?"_ He ground out.

Mac took a step forward, "He called. He was worried because apparently you had an appointment this morning that you missed and he's been following everything with the lawsuit and he wanted to check in. I explained to him that you missed the appointment because you have a concussion and he offered to come over tomorrow morning and I figured that given the content of your conversation with Charlie on Tuesday night that it wouldn't be a terrible idea for you to chat with your therapist."

"What the _FUCK_, Mac?!" He resisted the urge to shut his eyes at the pain induced by his own volume.

She held up her hands, "Will. It's not like I gave him any details..."

"No, you just answered my phone and invited him over my apartment!" He stood while he yelled. It was as if he were outside his body and watching without comprehension as he indulged in his discomfort and allowed his anger to feed off of his physical pain. "I've been patient allowing you to play your little nurse nightengale act but this is a step too far! You're not my girlfriend anymore Mac, you lost the right to have your fingers all over my personal life a long time ago. Can I please have some fucking privacy?!"

It took physical effort for him not to react at her visible wince at his words. She bit her lip and her eyes grew bright but she did not step away as Will expected her to, instead she stood her ground shaking her head.

"_No!_ No you may not. Not until I'm certain I'm not going to come back here to find you passed out in your bathroom and bleeding internally again!" She shouted, her voice catching slightly. "I don't care how pissed you are at me or how much you claim that you were drunk and didn't mean it the other night. The fact is that you've given me plenty of real reason to worry about how you handle less than stellar situations so when your therapist calls and offers to come over you better be damn certain I'm going to take him up on the offer and I don't give a flying fuck as to how much that pisses you off. I told you the other day what my motives are and I know I fucked things up but you're kidding yourself if you think I'm just going to sit back and do nothing. Hell, if I didn't do something that was for your own good just because I was afraid of pissing you off then you'd still be running news stories about iphones!"

Will narrowed his eyes, "No. Much better I be doing falsified stories about war crimes carried out by the marines!" He snapped back.

At that Mackenzie _did_ audibly gasp. She nodded shakily a lone tear did slip from her eye and when she spoke again it was with quiet and wounded tone, "You're right. And we've already discussed how I am aware how that is entirely my fault. All the more reason for me to be concerned about making sure you're okay because as I can barely survive the guilt now, I know I could_ never_ survive if I knew something else bad happened to you because of all that I've allowed to happen. I've told you that I know it was all my fault and if you want to revisit whether I'm fired or not that's just fine with me but you can't fire me from caring about you."

He resisted his urge to reflexively protect her from her own self flagellation, instead he ground his teeth and stared her down. The pressure from his clenched jaw reverberated through his head causing it to throb even more.

He let out an angry huff, "Well apparently whatever I say doesn't matter so I'm done with this."

He stormed in to his room and winced as he slammed the door behind him.

He felt like crap for more reasons than just the pounding in his head. They had had such a nice day together. Sharing the paper in bed and watching movies in the afternoon; it had almost been like old times and he had allowed himself to enjoy having her near again.

So why was he so eager to push her away?

True, he had been irritated at the idea of Habib coming over but he knew why she did it and he had no idea why he had allowed it to escalate so quickly and with such vehemence.

He turned and gingerly sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on his knees and dropped his head to his hands, vaguely aware and feeling more than slightly guilty that it was highly likely that Mac was sitting in a similar position less than 100 feet on the other side of his door.


	10. Chapter 10

Unlike the past two nights Will had a terrible time trying to sleep.

Tossing and turning, more than once he considered going on to check on Mac to apologize or just check that she was still there but each time he stopped himself, telling himself he didn't care, that he had a right to be angry and that certainly any conversation would just yield more yelling and hurtful words.

He finally dozed fitfully and when he woke it was his typical 7am, significantly earlier than the past two days.

His system demanded coffee but he checked himself, not looking forward to what ever interaction faced him when he eventually left the room. He knew he was being a coward and berated himself for it which did nothing to help his already frayed mood.

After spending an hour pretending like he might actually fall back asleep he pulled himself from the bed. He was pleased to find he wasn't dizzy and the incessant pounding in his head has decreased to a barely noticeable hum. He was sure the tension he felt in his neck was much closer related to the phantom pain in his chest than his head and although he still felt slow and sluggish he wasn't sure how much of that could be attributed to the concussion versus lack of sleep.

He padded into his en suite bathroom and stopped, looking himself in the mirror. He certainly looked like he felt worse than he did. His shoulders were slumped which pushed out his stomach, his eyes were red rimmed and his face was haggard. He hadn't shaved since Wednesday and the stubble was coming in grey. All in all the portrait of himself just made him feel old and sick.

He suddenly remembered Mackenzie's words, "You can't fire me from caring." and on Wednesday she had actually said she loved him. He looked himself over again. How could she possibly expect him to believe that she, sprightly, beautiful, energetic, lively, gorgeous Mackenzie, could possibly be in love with..._this_?

He straightened up, sucked in gut and jutted out his chin. He turned sideways and looked himself over. He let out a disgusted breath and slumped again. He still didn't get it. He knew he looked better than some men his age but they made up for it in personality. And she was a good deal younger than him; she could be with anyone, why was she working so hard to convince _him_ that she cared?

She _did_ seem awfully sincere and although Mackenzie was many things, she was never cruel. She wouldn't say something like that if she didn't mean it, she wouldn't do that to him.

Unbidden the little voice in the back of his mind spoke up, _'She did once. She said she loved you and then she crawled in to bed with Brian. You can't trust her when she says things that.'_

He hung his head, avoiding his own eye contact. The memories of her begging him to fire him came back and her anger in his office earlier that night. She had seemed awfully sincere then as well.

But she had come back. When Charlie had called she had come back and had not left his side since.

He thought back to Wednesday and how gentle and caring she was. He pulled up the feelings from yesterday morning and her hands in his hair and the joy of their simple day together.

He closed his eyes. She seemed happy then. Just being with him. The only times she appeared unhappy was when she was concerned for him.

So what the hell does any of that mean?

"Fuck it." He muttered and slammed his hand on the counter top, the physical sting from the impact pulling him out of his confused thoughts. He glared once more at his reflection and turned on the shower.

As the warm water pounded on his tense back he tried to think relaxing thoughts to get himself in to a proper mindset to deal with Habib's visit. Unfortunately the only images his mind would supply were Mac.

It started with when he was watching her laugh at the television screen yesterday and then moved to her sitting in his bed, surrounded by the paper, animatedly debating something. The images transformed to her stroking his hair and then her stare and blush when she had walked in on him changing. He pulled forth the memory of her on her knees, looking up at him and biting her lip as he thanked her for being there for him, the feel of her lips on the side of his head, her helping pull his pants up...

Then his imagination took over, blending the memories from the past few days with memories long pushed dormant.

It became her laughing at the screen while sprawled on top of him on the couch. Sitting in his bed surrounded by the paper, animatedly debating something before he silenced her with a kiss, pushing her back to the mattress. Her stroking his hair and waking to see her lying next to him, a smile on her face. Her blush at walking in on him and then launching herself into his arms, her looking up at him hands on his belt, the feel of her lips...

He opened his eyes and forcefully turned the shower temperature knob, letting out a yelp when the freezing water came out of the shower head.

He left the shower brushed his teeth, shaved and put on a pair of jean and a blue sweater all the while trying to straighten out his head. He tried to convince himself he was bothering to look better than a hobo just because Habib was coming over and that he was still angry at Mackenzie for inviting him.

He angrily shushed the part of his mind that pointed out he picked out what Mackenzie had once remarked was her favorite sweater, nor did he allow himself to dwell to much on why he returned to the mirror after he had shaved and changed, squaring his shoulders and looking himself over. It was natural to not want to look old and unattractive he repeated to himself as he brushed his hair. It had nothing to do with anything or anyone.

He looked at himself one last time and frustratedly ran his hands through his fresh combed hair, returning it to it's mussed up bed head.

He didn't want to look like he tried too hard.  
He shook his head in disgust. _Why did he care?_

By the time he left his room he was feeling so confused that a part of him was actually looking forward to Habib's visit.

Will took a deep breath and opened the door, uncertain as to what to expect or if Mac would even still be there.

He released a minute sigh of relief when he heard the familiar sound of a spoon clinking against a mug.

He found her in the kitchen sipping on a coffee and speed reading through the front page of the paper. She didn't look up when he entered and he silently made his way to the coffee pot, pouring himself a cup. He leaned against the counter and looked to Mac who had still yet to acknowledge his presence.

He knew that did not necessarily mean anything, she rarely allowed herself to be distracted when she was going through the paper like that. It was annoying at the moment only because she was a blank slate, there was no way for him to judge her mood or have any idea as to what to say or do. He settled for silently observing her.

Eventually she reached the end of the page and looked up at him, eyebrows arching as she noticed he was showered and dressed in something other than sweats and a t-shirt. "You're looking better." She commented evenly.

He shrugged, "I'm feeling it. Not 100% but better."

She gave a short nod of approval and then returned her attention back to the paper, opening it and trying to force it to lie flat.

"Want me to make you some breakfast?" Will shot out, before she had time to get focused again.

Mackenzie just shook her head, "I'm having brunch with Charlie."

Will tried not to let his surprise show, nor his hurt at not being invited, "Oh. Okay. When?"

She looked up at the clock, "After 10. I figured it would be good to give you some privacy."

Will winced as he recalled his words and demand for privacy the previous evening. Of course. He had only assumed that she'd be around for Habib's visit. _Of course_ she would be more sensitive than that and come up with a reason to not be around. He wasn't sure why he felt disappointed by that.

"Of course." He nodded. "You coming back after?"

Mackenzie looked up at him, for the first time that morning it felt like he actually had her attention, "One of us is. The doctor said you shouldn't be alone 72 hours and that bring us to early tomorrow morning. Do you want me to come back or do you want me to send someone else?"

Will's eyes went wide and he opened his mouth but unable to find the words he dropped his gaze to the mug in his hands. He shrugged, "I just figured that we still have all those movies and we never made it around to 'Man of La Mancha'..."

He raised his eyes to see her looking at him with a mix of annoyance and frustration. "Will, you have got to stop this. It's killing me."

He straightened at the unexpected response and shook his head, "What? What am I doing?"

She rolled her eyes, "You need to just be straight with me. It's bad enough at work when I don't know if you're going to compliment me or yell at me and then this week it's been holding my hand and inviting me to share the paper in your bed and then last night you flip out. I will give you that you had a right to be frustrated about me making arrangements with Dr. Habib but it was more than that. You were mean and hurtful. Then, just now, I asked you a straight question and you answer about a movie. I get that I was supposed understand that means you want me to come back as opposed to someone else but why not just say that? Just say 'I'd prefer it if you came back.' I have been nothing but honest with you, hell I even told you that I'm here because I love you and I don't expect anything in return but damnit Will, can't you just be honest and direct with me? I don't know where your head is and I can't handle your games!"

He set his jaw and breathed deep through his nose, forcing himself to not speak without thinking.

Mac watched him and slowly deflated herself, "I'm sorry." she spoke before he had a chance to speak, "I told myself I wasn't going to go off on you like that. It's certainly not what you want to deal with first thing in the morning. I'm just...I'm sorry..." She breathed out, closing her eyes and rubbing the tips of her fingers along her brow.

Will swallowed, fighting the internal desire to go to her and pull her to him. "I'm sorry too." He managed to get out and she opened her eyes to look at him.

He shrugged, "For last night. I stayed up half the night knowing I was an ass and I'm sorry."

She blinked rapidly and bit her lip, "You want me to come back after I meet with Charlie?"

Will forced himself to maintain eye contact with her and he nodded, "Yes. Only if you want to."

"I do." She nodded.

He nodded again, silently, and returned his gaze to his coffee mug.

She took a deep breath, "You had trouble sleeping?"

"Yeah." He muttered.

"Why didn't you come back out and talk with me then?" She pressed.

Will just shrugged again.

"Will!" She demanded.

"I don't know!" He shouted back. "I just_ don't FUCKING know_. Okay? I don't know why I'm seemingly randomly cruel to you and I don't know why I hedge around things and I don't know how I feel about you or what I want or what I should be doing. I just do not know Goddamnit!"

His frustration had him breathing deep and he was gripping on to the counter behind him with such force that his fingers were beginning to hurt while he stared unblinkingly at Mac.

The buzzer rang and Will moved to the intercom and thumbed the mic without waiting for the doorman's inquiry, "Yeah, let him up Manny."

He turned around to see Mac folding the paper and gathering her jacket. He sighed, "Mac, I'm sorry. Again."

She shook her head, "Don't be, I asked you to be honest."

"I still feel like I should be apologizing." He mumbled shifting his feet and not liking the anxiety he was feeling, watching her get ready to leave.

She stilled and encroached on his personal space, "You want some advice Will? You don't need to apologize, it's okay that you don't know. But you better figure it out, one way or another because, and believe me when I say this, I _DO_ love you but I also have some self respect and can only expect myself to put up with your games for so long. So figure it out or sort it out or what ever you need to do but get yourself some goddamn answers."

The elevator pinged it's arrival and she glanced over to it for a moment before returning her gaze to Will, "Luck for you, your therapist is here right on time."


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: Sorry this one is so long. It has a lot of dialogue and character schtuff...I just couldn't cut it. I hope you think it's worth it. For clarification; in this world everything from the Election Night Episodes happened except that Leona and Charlie never talked and Reese never came down saying he didn't accept anyone's resignation. Charlie never decided not to resign and obviously Will and Mac never had the...reconciliation...yet! Thanks all for reading and enjoying!_

* * *

Without giving him an opportunity to react Mac stepped back and around him in time to be in the foyer when the elevator doors opened to reveal Dr. Habib.

She smiled and outstretched her hand, looking as friendly and welcoming as anyone who hadn't just been fighting with their ex would be. "Hello! You must be Dr. Habib."

He stepped forward, glancing around, "Uh, yes, Jack, Please. You must be Mackenzie McHale."

She nodded, "Mackenzie's fine. Thank you for going out of your way. Even if he doesn't say anything, trust me Will appreciates it. He talks about you all the time."

Habib nodded awkwardly, all the while looking at her intently "Uhhh...yeah, well it's no problem at all, I'm happy to do it."

She stepped aside and gestured into the apartment, "I'm heading out for the hour to meet with our boss. Will showered and dressed because you were coming over, but don't let him fool you; his concussion was pretty serious and he's not as close to being better as he thinks he is. I left him back there to the left, in the kitchen. Thank you again."

Jack watched as she disappeared into the elevator and then followed where she had indicated to find Will in the kitchen, leaning against the counter with a cup of coffee.

"Will." He greeted.

The man in question looked up. "Want some coffee?"

Jack shook his head, "No I'm fine. Do you want to sit down some place?"

Will shook his head, "Not at the moment. It seems all I've been doing is sitting or lying down the past few days."

Jack matched Will's stance, leaning against the counter of the kitchen island. "Because you've been concussed."

"Yeah."

"What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

Jack took in a deep breath and regarded Will carefully. Mackenzie had been right, despite Will's obvious effort to appear presentable he still looked tired and weary. The doctor decided that Will would probably not be up for their usual quick drilling down to the issue at hand, what ever it may be. He would have to be more circuitous than normal. He started on what he was sure would garner a reaction.

"So that was Mackenzie." Habib gestured back toward the elevator, appearing casual.

"Yeah. She's been babysitting me as she puts it."

"She's attractive." Jack observed simply.

Will's head shot up, "What's that supposed to mean?" he snapped.

Jack shrugged his shoulders innocently, "Nothing, just you're right, she's a very attractive woman."

Will narrowed his eyes, "So what? You want to ask her out or something?"

Jack shook his slowly, "No. I was just making an observation. Would it have been a problem if I was trying to ask her out?"

Will rolled his eyes and glared at the psychologist.

Jack smiled, "Will, you know symptoms of a concussion can include irritability, mood swings and emotional confusion?"

Will smirked back, "And how is that different from my day to day norm?"

Jack crossed his arms, "Will, How'd you hit your head?"

Will turned and dumped the remainder of his coffee down the sink, "I didn't hit my head." He responded without turning around.

Jack tilted his head, "You have a concussion?"

"Yes."

"But you didn't hit your head?"

"I got hit. Someone else was doing the action." Will gestured vaguely with one hand, the other rinsing out the mug.

Jack's eyebrows rose in surprise, "You were in a fight?"

"No," clarified Will slowly, "I got punched."

Jack was relieved Will's back was to him so he didn't need to struggle to contain his surprise, "Someone punched you hard enough that you have a fairly serious concussion? You're not a small man, must have been a serious punch. Either that or you have a pretty soft skull."

Will turned around and held up his hands defensively, "Okay, a, first of all, yes it was a really hard punch. B, It wasn't just his fist, he had a heavy glass tumbler in his hand. C, the guy is a former Marine. D, I do happen to be susceptible to concussions because of how many I've had and e, he hit me on the temple which is a very sensitive part of the skull."

Jack nodded slowly, a slightly amused smirk on his face, "Okay..."

Will crossed his arms, "I'm just saying. I can take a punch. There were a lot of factors."

Jack pulled the smile off his face, "Okay...So why did you get punched?"

Will looked away, "I don't want to talk about it."

Jack grimaced, trying a different direction, "Did you know the guy who punched you?"

"Yeah."

"How?"

Will sighed and looked around the room before he made eye contact, "It was Charlie."

That time Jack didn't have any ability to hide his surprise, "Charlie? Charlie Skinner?"

"Yeah." Will confirmed reluctantly.

Jack leaned forward, "Charlie Skinner hit you, intentionally, with a heavy glass tumbler?"

"Yes." Will nodded and began aimlessly moving around the room.

Jack tried to find a relaxed stance, leaning back and observing lightly, "That must have been upsetting."

Will shrugged, "I think it upset him more."

Jack tilted his head, "Some how I doubt that."

Will stopped moving, turning to face the younger man, "No, really, he's felt pretty guilty about it all week."

Jack furrowed his brow, "All week? When did this happen?"

Will glanced at the calendar on the wall, not that he needed it, "Tuesday night...err actually Wednesday morning. Sometime after 2 after the election broadcast."

"Wednesday morning is when it happened?" Jack clarified.

Will nodded, "Yeah."

Jack looked at him quizzically, "But you were on air Wednesday night..."

Will froze his fidgeting again and looked at him in surprise, "You watch the show?"

Jack shrugged a shoulder, "Of course I do. Have for years."

"I didn't know that."

Jack shrugged again, smiling, "You never asked."

Will nodded absently, "Guess not."

Habib took a moment to observe Will's wonder before steering the conversation back, "So, you were on air Wednesday. But not yesterday and I assume not today. What changed?"

Will shrugged and started moving toward the living room, "I really shouldn't have been there Wednesday. I was a mess during the breaks and actually passed out immediately after the show."

"That doesn't sound good." Jack remarked dryly.

"It wasn't." Will agreed.

"If you were so sick why did you do it?"

Will shrugged, "It was the day that Dantana suit was filed. I wanted to go on as a show of support for Charlie and the Lansings. Didn't want to give anyone a reason to think I was hiding from the bad publicity."

"Of course." Jack nodded, "Although I bet Mackenzie wasn't thrilled with you."

Will smirked, "Nope. Both she and Charlie gave me some pretty heavy lectures."

"Well it was Charlie's fault you're concussed any way." Jack pressed.

"It's not his fault." Will rebutted immediately.

Jack tilted his head, "He's the one who hit you?"

Will paced the room, eyes skimming the city out the window, "Yeah, but I didn't leave him any other option."

Jack sat in the arm chair and sighed, leaning forward, "Will...this concerns me."

"Why?" Will asked.

Jack took a breath, "I only know Charlie through what you've told me so I can't pretend to know him but you must understand my concern when I know your history and then find out that the man who seems to fill a paternal role in your life hits you hard enough to leave you seriously concussed and your reaction is to blame yourself. Logically or not children of abuse often find themselves in similar relationships in adulthood and..."

"No!" Will spun on his heel and faced Habib with sudden intensity, his eyes deadly serious, "Absolutely not. Charlie Skinner is _NOTHING_ like my old man. He has been nothing but a friend and mentor to me. He has never hit me before nor had he ever laid a hand his wife nor his daughter nor can I imagine anyone else. I mean seriously. It's Charlie. The man's heart is so big I don't even know how it fits in his body."

Jack set his jaw and mentally steeled himself not to reel back from Will. Instead he leaned forward and pressed with his own quiet intensity, "So tell me why he hit you now."

He could see the moment something in Will broke. He sighed and his shoulders slumped. He took a step back and dropped on to the couch, his eyes focused on his hands in front of him. Eventually he spoke, "He hit me because he felt like it was the only way he could prevent me from killing myself."

For the third time that morning Jack found himself genuinely surprised. He allowed himself an extra moment to get his thoughts in order before he spoke again, evenly and carefully, "Why did he think you might kill yourself?"

Will's eyes didn't leave his hands, "Because I told him I was going to. I was asking him to leave me alone so I could."

Jack set his jaw, "Were you serious?"

Will swallowed, shame crossing his face, "At the time. Yes, yes I was."

Jack took a deep breath, "Are you having suicidal thoughts now?"

Will shook his head, "No." He answered quietly.

"Was Tuesday the first time you've ever had suicidal thoughts?" Jack pushed.

"No." Will answered so quietly that Jack had to strain to hear him.

"When else?"

Will leaned his head back and looked at the ceiling, shrugging as he mentally scanned his memories, "There were a few times when I was a kid when I thought about it pretty seriously. Once when I was a freshman in college and last time was about 6 years ago."

"What stopped you those other times?" Jack asked, genuinely concerned.

Will shrugged, "When I was a kid it was always my siblings or my mother. When I was in college it was a professor who picked up on the signals that I was struggling and 6 years ago...it was a few things."

"You stopped coming to your sessions about 6 years ago." Habib observed.

Will nodded and leveled a serious gaze at Jack, "I was afraid to tell your father that I had thought about it. I knew he'd figure it out so I just stopped coming."

Jack opened his mouth and then closed it again. Aware that he genuinely did not know how to respond to that.

Will broke his gaze and looked to the wall, "Before this week none of the people responsible for stopping me knew what I had been thinking or that they were the reason I didn't do it. No one knew."

"But you told Charlie." Jack asked, glad he had regained his ability to speak.

Will shrugged, "He was there when I was coming to the conclusion that it was what I wanted to do."

Jack sat back, "Are you glad he stopped you?"

Will gave a small nod, "I've told him and Mac both how bad I feel about what I put them through."

Jack grimaced, "That's good but that's not what I asked, are you glad he stopped you? Are you thankful you're alive right now?"

Will looked at him in the eye and then broke the contact. His eyes floating around the room until settling back on his hands and offering a small, silent shrug.

Jack leaned forward, "Why?" He asked quietly.

Will took a deep breath, "It doesn't make as much sense now but if I had managed to get away with it Tuesday night I figured it would help with the whole lawsuit and distract from the PR problems and let the network just move forward. Especially as Leona wouldn't let me resign it seemed like a logical option."

Jack raised his eyebrows, "Logical?"

"Yeah." Will shrugged, "It would cause a flurry of interest for a day or two but I'm not a big enough of a celebrity for it to really last long and then ACN would be able to move forward. Clean slate."

"So it was a professional decision?"

Will shrugged non-committedly.

Jack brought his hand to his chin, "What about the people in your life? Did you think about how your death would effect them?"

Will shrugged. "I have no real relationships. I'm no one's father or husband or child. I know it would upset my siblings but we lead very separate lives now and I wasn't worried about them. At the time the only person I was concerned about was Charlie."

"At the time?" Jack questioned.

Will grimaced, "Yeah, now I realize that Mac would dig me up and kill me again if I were to ever do something like that."

Jack tilted his head, "Why weren't you worried about how she would feel on Tuesday night?"

Will looked down again, "We had a really bad fight. A couple actually."

"What happened?"

Will rolled his shoulders, pausing a long time before he spoke, "She wanted me to fire her and accused me of somethings so I did, I fired her."

"You fired Mackenzie?" Jack couldn't restrain himself from interrupting.

"I took it back." Will muttered. "Later she apologized but we ended up fighting again and I ended up telling her about the ring."

"The ring you bought last year? When you first came to see me?"

"Yeah. She was really hurt by that." Will let out a little half laugh, "She made me stand on the other side of the room because she was so upset she was afraid she wouldn't be able to stop herself from hitting me."

"Did you apologize?"

Will nodded sadly, still remembering the absolute hurt on Mackenzie's face. "Yeah, but it didn't matter. I really, really hurt her. We hurt each other. It was a terrible night. I thought I'd lost her again."

Habib settled back in to the chair, "Did that play into your decision at all? May be it wasn't totally professional? Maybe all that other stuff was justification?"

Will shook his head, "Only in the sense that I know Mac loves her job and I figured if I wasn't there then she could keep doing her job and be happy without having to deal with me."

Jack nodded slowly, carefully regarding the man in front of him. He decided to change direction again, "What about anyone else?"

Caught off guard and out of his memories Will looked up at the doctor in confusion, "What do you mean?"

"What about other people in your life?" Jack restated. "You told me that you thought about your siblings, Charlie and Mackenzie. Have you thought about how other people you know would react to your death?"

Will shifted, obviously considering the issue for the first time, "I'm sure they would worry a little about their jobs but they'd be fine once everything settled."

Jack leaned forward again, "What about their reactions on a personal level?"

Will just shrugged, "I don't know."

Jack leaned back and smirked, "Have you ever pictured your own funeral?"

Will shot him a look, "What? No."

Jack nodded, smiling, "Alright then, let's think about it together."

Will again shook his head, "Why?"

Jack shrugged, "Because I'm the psychologist and I think we should. Now, if you had killed yourself on Wednesday morning the funeral would be today or tomorrow. Who do you think would be there? You already mentioned Charlie, right?"

Will shifted in his seat and crossed his arms, "Yeah."

Jack nodded, "What about his wife? You've mentioned a few times that you've gone over his house. Would she be there?"

Will looked away, "Yes. I suppose so."

"Would she be crying?"

Will looked at Jack with disgust.

Jack ignored him and asked again, "Would Mrs. Skinner be crying at your funeral Will?"

Will huffed out a breath, "Sure, I guess so. Probably."

"Charlie has a daughter, right? The one in Massachusetts? Would she be there?" Jack asked.

Will's eyes flicked away as he thought of the pensive dark haired girl who used to join he and Charlie at the theater and asked Will for a letter of recommendation when she applied to Amherst.

"She has school. If it was a Saturday she might come down." He muttered.

"And she'd be crying too?" Jack asked.

Will felt himself getting angry, not wanting to picture tears on the girl's face but he offered a muttered, "Yeah, probably."

Jack tilted his head, trying to catch Will's eye, "And Mackenzie. She'd be there?"

Will opened his mouth to agree but then shut it again, a small smirk coming across his face.

"What, Will?" Jack pressed, confused.

Will smirked at him, "I'm not sure that she'd come to the funeral. She'd probably be too angry. She'd might just wait go out to the cemetary and yell at my tombstone like a crazy person."

Jack shared Will's small smile. "Okay. But can we agree she wouldn't handle it well."

Will looked away, "No." He muttered, not really wanting to think about how Mac would react.

Wisely sensing to not push, Jack moved on, "What about Sloan? You've mentioned you see her as a little sister. Would she go to your funeral?"

Will looked at his hands again, "Yes. She would."

Jack pushed again, "And would she be upset?"

Will had to swallow at how quickly his imagination conjured an image of Sloan, dressed in black, trying to hold it together, but her lower lip trembling until Don or Charlie pulled her into an embrace and she cried angrily.

"Yeah, she would be." He muttered.

"Would she cry?"

Will clenched his jaw and his fists, wanting to get the image of a grieving Sloan out of his head. "Come on...yeah, I suppose. Can we stop this?" He snapped angrily.

Jack just ignored him, "How about Jim? You've talked about him. A few times. You were concerned about him this fall? You've played around on your guitars together too, right? He'd go to the funeral?"

"Yeah..." Will ground out, knowing that even if Mackenzie hadn't gone that Jim would still feel compelled to go.

"And he'd be upset? More than as if he had lost a boss?"

The image of Jim, in a rumpled dark suit and tie, sitting alone in a pew, checking desperately for Mackenzie to arrive popped into Will's brain and he winced at the pain the image brought.

"I suppose so." He muttered in defeat, hoping Habib was done with this torture.

He wasn't. "How about Don?" Pushed Jack.

Will's instinct was to say no but then he remembered Don's adamant promise to resign if Will did and his comments about principle and character.

"Yeah...but he would be pissed. Not just upset, but pissed as hell."

Jack nodded understandingly, "How about Maggie?" He asked next.

Will's eyes got wide. Lost, frustrated, angry and lonely Maggie. He could picture her timidly entering the church, worrying at her lower lip as if wondering if she belonged there. Sitting, frozen between Gary and Tess who would crying openly. He could see the emotions warring across her face as she struggled to understand why it had happened and at some point, maybe there, may be at the office, may be alone, she would break down and it would be terrible.

He had never told her but Maggie was a mirror image of his baby sister, at least until she changed her hair. All this past year she had been on the edge of his mind and the mental image of her struggling with his own stupid death made him want to just give her a hug and tell her it was all going to be alright the same way he would comfort Lissa when they were young.

He clenched his jaw and swallowed deeply, glaring angrily at Habib.

"No, we're not doing the twisted game any more! I don't want to think about this."

Jack sat straight and matched Will's angry glare with one of his own, "Well that's too bad Will. You want to think about killing yourself then you need to think about all the consequences including the pain that _you'd_ be responsible for inflicting on people you care about. You need to think it all the way through Will and deal with it. Now. Would Maggie go?"

Will grimaced angrily, "Yes!" He snapped. "Yes. They'd all go. And they'd probably all be upset. A lot of them would cry and be confused and hurt and it would be a pretty terrible day for everyone."

Jack breathed slowly and returned to his neutral tone, "Why do you think they'd be upset?"

Will scoffed, "What kind of question is that?"

Jack ignored him, "Why do you think all these people would be upset? These people with whom you spend most of your time; with whom you've shared successes and failures; for whom you've played the role of boss, mentor, lawyer, friend, adviser and advocate? Do you think they'd be upset because they're worried about their jobs? Why do you think they'd be crying?"

Will receded into himself, "I don't..." He stammered, looking at his hands, clasped tightly in his lap, "They...I...why are you pushing this?" He finally asked, looking up at Jack sadly.

"Because you need to understand this and it's apparent that you don't." He replied patiently.

"I understand." he insisted.

"Do you?" Jack pushed, unbelieving.

Will's eyes caught the box of DVDs at the corner of the couch. He reached out and gently tugged on the corner until he could look inside and see the letter sitting on top and all the signatures and notes around the page.

He closed his eyes for a long time and he sighed. When he opened his eyes he took a breath to keep the moisture at bay and when he answered it was in a small and timid voice that Jack had never heard from him before.

"I do..."

"Will?" Jack moved his head trying to physically match eye contact with his patient.

"Elliot picked me up." Will explained in a mumble, eyes focused somewhere beyond the walls of the apartment.

"What?" question Jack, confused.

Will's eyes flicked back to the other man as if just realizing he wasn't alone. "Wednesday night." He clarified, "After I passed out. He picked me up and helped me back to my office even though he had his own show to prepare for and chances were pretty high that I could puke all over him."

Jack nodded, understanding the path Will's mind was taking. "He didn't care."

Will shook his head absently, "No. And Neal gave his sweater for me to use as a pillow."

Jack nodded, "Yeah? Who else was there." He tried to help Will along.

"Jim." Will answered. "Jim was scared."

"Why do you think Jim was scared?" Jack asked.

"I could hear it in his voice."

"No," Jack shook his head, "I mean what do you think caused him to be scared?"

Will's eyes met Jack's, "He was worried about me."

Jack said nothing, just nodded and smiled encouragingly, allowing Will to fixate on that thought.

After a moment of quiet Will spoke up again, "They sent us this box."

"What?" Jack tried to follow the seeming non-sequitor.

Will gestured to the corner of the couch, "The staff sent a box of videos and things to Mackenzie and I with kind of a get well letter."

"They're worried about you and want you to get better." He observed.

Will's mind flicked over the past two years, the concern everyone showed when he got the death threat, visiting him in the hospital when he had his ulcer, their applause when he came back to work, Mac insisting that they'd walk through fire for him, Sloan in his office, their heartbreak over Genoa and how they all looked to him for what was next, Tuesday night...

"Why?" He mused out loud.

Jack shrugged, "They care about you. They like you. You're a likable guy."

Will waved away the comment, "Yeah, I know that."

Jack narrowed his eyes, "No. I don't think you do. I'm not talking about ratings or focus group data or people who don't know you. I'm talking about in real life, face to face, you're a likable guy to the people who actually know you."

Will rolled his eyes.

Habib sat back and tilted his head as he had his own epiphany, "This can't possibly be news to you? After all the time you've spent with these people, the moments you've shared. You've never realized they like you?"

Will shrugged, "I just, always assumed they all did what they did because of Mac is here...Why would they like me?"

Jack shook his head and smiled warmly at Will, "You're intelligent and articulate, generous, a reliable source of advice and comfort, fiercely loyal and protective of those you care about. You can be funny and like to talk about sports and music and movies. Are all those things true?"

Will shrugged, "I guess so."

Jack leaned his elbows on his knees, "And do they sound like good qualities that would make the average person like another?"

Will shrugged, "I guess."

Jack looked at Will and let out a short breath, "We never talked about your Dad."

Will tensed and looked at Jack with apprehension, "We have..."

Jack shook his head, "We've mentioned him but I mean we haven't talked about his passing."

Will rolled his shoulders and looked away, "I told you before, I don't want to talk about that."

Jack nodded, "Well I think we need to now."

"Why? What's he have to do with anything right now?" Will glared.

"Everything." Jack commented softly.

Will did not relent his pointed look. "Why?"

"Because he was wrong." Jack explained simply.

Will shook his head, "What are you talking about?"

Jack took a deep breath and shuffled forward in his chair, looking earnestly at Will, "I'm assuming it was more than just that he hit you. I'm assuming that his violence was accompanied by words and insults?"

Will shrugged, "Yeah, I suppose so..."

"You're worthless? Good for nothing? Smart ass? Bad?" Jack intoned.

Will swallowed and looked away, "Yeah, something like that. Sure."

Jack nodded, "And I bet, even now, decades later, if you close your eyes you can still hear him say it and feel the sting of his hand?"

Will flinched involuntarily, "Yeah..."

"He was wrong, Will." Jack stated again.

"I know." Will nodded.

"No, really Will, your Dad was wrong." Jack repeated.

Will shrugged, "I never thought he was right."

"Good. Because he was wrong." Jack said again.

"I know." Will insisted again.

Jack wasn't done, "He was wrong Will. Your Dad was wrong about you." He repeated in the same even tone.

Will remained quiet, and looked away.

Jack kept speaking, "Your Dad was wrong. You're not worthless, you add incredible value to the lives of other people. You play an important role in many people's lives. You're a good person and your intelligence is not a bad thing. You don't need to choose between being smart and being liked. You are a good person Will. Your Dad was wrong. You are a good person who deserves to have people like you and care about you and love you. And they do. Because your Dad was wrong. You're a good person and the world around you knows it and is full of people who care about you. He was just wrong Will."

Will looked at Jack, and opened his mouth as if to speak but his lip quivered and instead he dropped his head, bringing his hand to rub along his forehead as he breathed harsh, stuttering breaths.

Jack waited for a long time while Will stayed focused in his own moment. Finally Jack began to break the quiet with a repeated murmur of "It's okay Will. It's okay."

Eventually Will took a deep shuddering breath and Jack watched as he squared his shoulders and sat up again, looking at Jack with a brightness in his eyes that Jack wasn't sure if he'd ever seen before. Jack was about to speak when the light flickered and disappeared, a stricken look coming over his face.

"Will, what is it?" Jack asked in concern.

Will locked eyes with the therapist, "I need you to help me with Mac."

Jack shook his head. They had had one of the most breakthrough sessions he could recall in his career and suddenly they were back at square 1. It was enough to make him want to scream. Instead, he sighed, "Why?"

Will suddenly looked panicked, "I can't loose her ever again."

Jack tilted his head, "You've lost me Will. Why? I know you fought on Tuesday but it seems she's been with you the rest of the week. Is there a danger that you're going to loose her?"

Will nodded, "Yes! No? I don't know. I feel like I'm always on the edge of something with her and when I say the wrong thing it's going to tip in the wrong direction. We also fought last night and I apologized but this morning she told me she can't handle my games much longer and I need to figure it all out because if I loose her then I loose everything."

Jack raised his eyebrows, silently impressed with Mackenzie's style but cursing that it couldn't have waited for a better time, "Will. We just went over this. Your life doesn't hang on one person. There are plenty of people..."

Will shook his head, "I know, I know I do. But you don't understand. When she's not around something happens and I'm not that person. Even Charlie once told me that I wasn't a nice guy for the entire duration of the time she was gone. Don was my EP for 3 months and he hated me. Now...now he's..." He grew quiet again reliving the shock of Don's simple and honest "You did." on Tuesday night.

Will sighed, "I'm not who I want to be when she's not around. I need to sort out whatever the hell I need to sort out so that I never hurt her again and she never leaves again."

Jack raised his eyebrows and sat back, nodding pensively. After a long pause he spoke, "Do you want to know what I think Will?"

"What?" Will leaned forward, an edge of desperation in his voice.

"You need to just be happy."

"What?" Will sat back again, clearly unsatisfied with Jack's solution.

Jack sighed, "You've heard the cliche that life is what you choose it to be?"

Will rolled his eyes, "Yes."

Jack shrugged, "Well it's true, to an extent. You've believed that people can't possibly actually like you so you have treated them that way and in turn they feel pushed away so it becomes self fulfilling. Something about Mackenzie makes you have more faith in the people around you and allows you to open up. When you stopped pushing people away they have grown close to you. You need to be aware of that and choose to be happy. Choose to stop pushing people away and let them in, let them care about you, let them love you. Most importantly extend the same faith in Mackenzie that she's allowed you to have in other people."

Will was quiet for a long moment,"Mac told me she loves me." He whispered.

Jack blinked, "When?"

Will shrugged, looking at his fingers again, "Wednesday. And today. She wanted me to know that's why she's here, taking care of me. Because she loves me."

Jack gave a single nod. "Huh. What did you say to her?"

Will grimaced, "Nothing really."

Jack sighed audibly and rolled his eyes, "Really? The woman of your life tells you she loves you and you said nothing in return?"

"No. Not really." Will mumbled.

Jack shook his head in frustration, "And why not?"

Will shrugged, "I didn't know what to say."

Jack leaned back into the comfortable chair, piercing Will with his eyes, "This is exactly what I'm talking about. You're choosing to make this more difficult than it is. When a beautiful woman that you're in love with tells you that she loves you, you say it back! It doesn't need to be any more complicated than that."

Will picked at an invisible thread on his jeans, "What if she doesn't mean it?"

Jack let out a huff, "Do you really think that's possible? After everything. You were impressed with the fact that Neal gave you his sweater to use as a pillow, how about being impressed with everything Mackenzie has done and put up with and she still, as recently as this morning, tells you that she loves you. Do you really think it's possible that she would be lying? Why would she do this to herself?"

Will shrugged, "I don't know."

Jack shook his head, "Will, Choose to be happy. Believe that people do like you. Believe that it's possible for you to be loved. Choose to be that guy and lead that life Will. Believe that you deserve it."


	12. Chapter 12

Mac took a deep breath as she entered Will's elevator. Taking into consideration that with the exception of when he had locked himself in his room last night, he had not had a moment's of privacy she had walked around the block for 15 minutes, giving Dr. Habib a chance to leave and provide Will a window of time on his own.

As much as she wanted him to know she trusted him she also couldn't fight the anxiety in the pit of her stomach and she was pressing the button in the elevator lobby at exactly 11:15.

It wasn't just anxiety that propelled back to his apartment, her hour with Charlie had her feeling good and energized about work for the first time in over 2 months and she found herself eager to share what she had learned with Will. She just hoped that his session had gone well and would hopefully help alleviate the tension that had built up over the past 14 hours as opposed to adding to it.

She took it as a good sign that when the elevator doors opened she could hear Sports Center on the television in the living room.

She took a deep breath and strode into the room with a smile on her face, "How was your..." She trailed off in surprise seeing that Will was not alone. He was stretched out on the couch, but her eyes flicked to Dr. Habib who was sitting in the arm chair finishing what looked like a breakfast burrito and had very evidently also been watching the sports newscast.

"Oh...I'm sorry, I assumed you would be done..." It didn't look like any type of therapy session she'd been to in the past but she knew that Will wasn't always orthodox.

Jack nodded and smiled, "No. We are, have been for a while. I was just waiting for you."

At Mackenzie's confused and momentarily panicked look Will clarified, "I figured you'd prefer if I wasn't alone so I asked him to stick around until you got back."

Mackenzie's mouth opened and her brow furrowed, staring in bewilderment at Will who had already turned his attention back to the television. She noticed Dr. Habib watching her with a neutral expression on his face and she suddenly felt uncomfortable, as if she were being observed and she felt far too transparent.

She shook her head, "I'm sorry, I would have tried to make it back faster had I known."

Jack stood, smiling warmly, "It's fine. Gave Will an opportunity to cook for me. I've been hearing about how he cooks bacon for nearly 2 years now." The therapist grinned at the glare Will shot him.

Mackenzie's eyes darted between the two men but didn't say anything.

Jack grabbed his jacket from where it had been draped over another chair, "Well I'm going to be heading out. Will, I believe I'm leaving you in capable hands. It was a good morning and I look forward to seeing you next week but please call me earlier if you need to."

Will glanced up at the man he normally towered over and gave a sincere nod of his head without saying anything.

Jack smirked and turned to leave.

"Let me walk you out." Offered Mackenzie, following him to the elevator.

When they reached the foyer she looked behind them to ensure Will's attention was back on the television. She bit her lip and turned to the young psychologist, "Dr. Habib,"

"Jack." He gently responded.

"I'm sorry, yes, Jack. I um, just wanted to know, if he..."

Jack shook his head, "Mackenzie, you know I can't talk about anything we might have discussed."

She nodded, "Yes, yes, of course. It's just that...just...I'm worried. Can you at least tell me if I don't need to be worried?"

Jack smiled sadly and matched her eyes for a long moment before he sighed, "Mackenzie, I think that you're always going to worry about Will, no matter what I tell you right now."

She shook her head, "Not like this...not about this..."

He put a gentle hand on her forearm, "Mackenzie. I'm leaving. I'll see him again next week and at appointments weeks from now. My advice to you in the mean time? Do what ever you need to do to be happy. He's not the only one who deserves it."

With a smile and a duck of his head he turned and disappeared into the waiting elevator.

Mackenzie watched the doors slide shut before turning away. She took a step toward the living room but stopped and redirected herself to the kitchen, Dr. Habib's words rolling through her head as she poured herself a glass of water. He would see Will next week and weeks after that. So he wasn't worried that Will wouldn't be around to go to his sessions. Or maybe Will never even told him he had been talking about suicide? What if the doctor didn't understand _why_ she really was so worried? And what was that about doing what she needed to do to be happy? What did he think she needed to do? She gently banged her head on the refrigerator, more confused than before she had spoken to Jack.

"You shouldn't do that. You don't really have that many brain cells to spare." Came Will's voice from behind her.

She straightened and turned giving him a roll of her eyes as she moved to sit on one of the bar stools to watch him as he cleaned the plates he and Jack had been using.

She sat quietly for a moment still ruminating. She wasn't sure why the psychologist had said what he did but she did know the first thing she needed in order to be happy; She needed to not be so worried about this man in front of her. So she broke the silence, "Did you tell Jack that you had been thinking of killing yourself?"

She watched as Will tensed, all the muscles in his back and neck constricting. She took a deep breath and braced herself to stand her ground. A long moment passed and she watched in surprise as some of the tension began to slip off his frame. Without turning around he replied, "I did."

Her eyebrows climbed her forehead, "You did?"

This time he did turn around, leaning back against the counter and grabbing a dish towel to dry his hands and nodding, his face open and honest, "I did."

Mackenzie breathed out the breath she had been holding. So that means that Habib really wasn't worried. Or at least not about that. "Good." She said aloud.

Will quirked an eyebrow, "That's it?"

She tilted her head, "Yes, that's it. What else would there be?"

He shrugged, "From the way you beelined after my therapist I assumed you'd have all kinds of nosy questions."

Mackenzie was distracted from being insulted by the fact that his tone seemed to be amused as opposed to accusatory. She shrugged, "If after knowing all the facts he's not worried then it helps me be less worried."

Will nodded slowly, "He knows. I'm sorry for worrying you."

Mac smiled at him, "You should be."

Will looked at her thoughtfully before nodding, accepting her statement. He took a breath and cast his attention around the room before settling on the next topic, "So how's Charlie?"

His question suddenly reminded Mac with her excitement from earlier and she smiled brightly, stunning Will.

"What? What happened?" He pressed, walking around the island and settling himself on the bar stool next to her.

"The most unbelievable thing." She emphasized with her hands. "Apparently, Tuesday night Leona told Reese that _he_ could have the final decision about whether or not to accept our resignations."

Will's face blanked in surprise. "So how come we're not all gone?"

Mackenzie pulled up her shoulders and shook her head, "Because apparently he agreed with his mother. He doesn't want us gone, doesn't think we did anything wrong and wants to do the honorable thing by standing with the News Night team. He apparently came to tell us but it must have been just after we left to go to the hospital. He, Charlie, Leona and Rebecca have been working the phones and their contacts all week to shore up the case and to minimize the spread of the stories in complaint."

Will's eyes went wide. "_Wow._"

Mackenzie nodded eagerly.

Will looked away pensively, "You know, Reese and I were fairly close for a little while before you came back. He was always a ratings hound and was always a little too cut throat corporate but he always did what he thought was the right thing."

Mackenzie shrugged, "And he's a Momma's boy."

Will nodded and pointed, "That too." He paused and grinned, "Not that there's anything wrong with that of course."

Mackenzie raised her eyebrows, surprised at Will's reference to his own family. She smirked, "No, of course not." She drawled out. "But that's not even the best news!"

"There's more?"

She nodded, "Yes! Did you hear on Tuesday how Don wanted to counter sue Dantana?"

Will nodded, "Yeah, he ran it by me. I never did much in civil cases but it seems that he could make a pretty good case for himself."

Mackenzie nodded, "Well, Rebecca got to work on it and she agrees with you. She filed the paperwork yesterday which then inspired Charlie to file a suit of his own which then inspired Leona to file some other suit on behalf of ACN and we just heard that the Department of Defense is filing a criminal complaint against him too!"

Will shook his head, "Wait a minute, against Dantana or against ACN?"

Mackenzie smiled, "Against Jerry. Apparently Leona is old friends with their legal counsel and they met on the quiet and came to the conclusion that a complaint against ACN was too big and messy and would be a difficult case to make especially with all the political and first amendment complications that comes from the government attacking a sometimes critical journalism outlet. A case against Dantana with the narrow scope of slandering the armed forces by purposefully and maliciously misrepresenting a 3 star general is an open and shut case. They can appease who they need to appease without getting in to a big hairball mess with ACN."

Will sat back, "So you're telling me that not only does Leona support us but now Reese does too so our jobs and the jobs of all our staff are safe and that we may still be under suit from Jerry but he himself is now facing a minimum of 3 counter suits plus prosecution from the DoD who will NOT be filing anything against us?"

Mackenzie nodded, "Yup. And as defendant in so many cases Jerry is going to have to make some decisions about what he does with his legal resources. Rebecca's thinks it's only a matter of time before he drops his complaint against ACN. I guess he's already contacted Don about mutually dropping each other's suits!"

Will smirked, "What did Don say?"

Mackenzie matched his grin, "He said he'd consider it."

"Ha!" Will let out a bark of laughter, his face practically splitting with the smile he wore. He let out a deep breath and relaxed into his chair, eyes unfocused as he disappeared into his thoughts.

Mackenzie just sat watching him, her smile not leaving her face.

He finally broke the silence, looking at her, "We still get to do _our_ show." He spoke quietly, almost in awe.

She bit her lip, her eyes growing moist, "We're going to be okay Billy."

Suddenly he was standing, pulling her into a fierce hug.

She immediately ducked her head into the crook of his neck and tried to wrap her arms as completely around him as he had her. Tears of relief and joy wet her cheeks as she felt Will's smile as he ducked his head and nuzzled into her hair.

They stood there for a long time, just holding each other tight until Will finally loosened his grip with a repeated murmur of "We're going to be okay."

She swallowed and relaxed her own arms, stepping back just enough to be able to look into his face. "Yes, yes we are."

He smirked down at her, "Unless you still want me to fire you that is."

She furrowed her brow, "What?"

He shrugged, "It's Friday. Contractually I couldn't have fired you really on Tuesday any way. But now it's the end of the week. So what do you say? Still want me to fire you?" He pushed, a wicked grin on his lips.

She pulled her hands from around his waist and crossed them over her chest, "What would you do if I said yes?" She tossed back, narrowing her eyes.

His eyes went wide for a fraction of a second, the grin sliding off his face until he seemed to realize she wasn't serious and he too dropped his arms and shrugged, "I'd say something like, do you think I should take Don and give Elliot Jim, or can Jim handle 8 on his own?"

She glared at him and slapped his shoulder, "Shuddit."

"Hey!" He held up his hands, "You started it."

She shook her head and pointed her finger, "No, you did!"

He pursed his lips, "Fine, you're right, but you still shouldn't hit me, I'm sick."

She rolled her eyes, "Yes, poor sick Billy. I'll hit you whenever I want. If you being in a hospital bed didn't stop me then a concussion sure as hell won't."

Will snickered, "Yeah, well at least it wasn't with a rolled up magazine this time."

She shook her head and leaned back onto her stool, watching him. He was still smiling at her and she realized sadly he didn't smile that much any more. Not unless he was winning an argument or delivering a sarcastic barb he very rarely smiled.

He caught her look and tilted his head, "What is it?"

She shrugged, "It's nice to see you smiling."

He blinked, confusion crossing his face before he settled back into his contented smile, "Why wouldn't I be?"

She shrugged, not wanting to risk pointing out his usual default. She settled for evasive maneuvers, "So your meeting with Dr. Habib went well?"

He took a deep breath and looked away, so she couldn't read his face but when he turned back to her it was with a small smile and soft eyes. "Yeah. It was exhausting though."

She nodded, "The good ones usually are. Not to mention that you did say you didn't sleep well last night. Why don't we go back and finish watching Sports Circle and then put in another movie? You can try and nap and we'll have an early dinner?"

"Sports Center."

"What?"

"It's Sports Center, you said Sports Circle, but it's...aw forget it." He dismissed his words with a wave of his hand and started leading the way back to the living room. "Come on Dulcinea, let's go relax for a little bit. We need to restore our energy reserves if we're going to go about winning back the public's trust on Monday."


	13. Chapter 13

A soft snore came from the other side of the couch and Will smirked at Mac's sleeping form. She had insisted that he try to go to bed early to make up for the sleep he missed but he had cajoled her into tuning into Elliot's show and not even 15 minutes into the broadcast _she_ was the one already asleep.

He grabbed the remote and lowered the volume, keeping his eyes still on her.

Her face was relaxed in sleep but he could still make out the vestiges of the ever present worry lines around her eyes. What ever sleep she had gotten over the past few days wasn't enough to make up for whatever she had put herself through since Genoa fell apart.

He flashed back to that moment in his office, _"What's the punishment going to be this time?"_

He sighed, realizing that a good part of the reason she had taken everything so hard was because she was concerned about him and his reaction and what he was going to do to her.

The guilt blossomed in his chest and he was once more in awe of the fact that in spite of everything she was still here, with him. He lectured himself internally for thinking he could he ever doubt her.

He was startled out of his reverie by the buzz of the cell phone on the coffee table. He was so consumed with ensuring that the phone did not disturb her sleep that he had already hit the answer button by the time he realized it was her phone. He grimaced, recalling what had happened last night when _she_ had answered _his_ phone when he was the one sleeping. He gave himself a shake of the head; not amused by the universe's sense of humor.

Glancing at the screen he was relieved to see the call was from Charlie and not anyone potentially more complicated. "Hold on a sec." He whispered in to the phone before carefully standing from the couch and moving out to the balcony.

Once the door was shut behind him he returned his attention to the phone, "Hey Charlie, sorry about that. Mac's asleep and I didn't want to wake her."

"Ah, good. She needs the sleep." Came the gravely voice over the phone.

Will nodded, "Yeah. She does."

"How are you doing?"

Will shrugged, "Better. Much better. Still dizzy if I get up too fast and feeling a little sluggish but I think that may be from spending two afternoons in a row doing nothing but watching movies."

"That's not a bad thing. Mac isn't the only one who I know hasn't been sleeping these past few months."

Will rolled his eyes, "Yeah, but I'm going stir crazy with all this rest and relaxation. Even more so since Mac came back this morning with all your good news; the only reason I stopped myself from heading straight over there to see it all myself is because I was afraid of what Mac would do to me if I even suggested going to the office."

Charlie chuckled.

"It's unbelievable. Everything is really looking like it's going to be okay?" Will pressed, wanting to hear the reaffirmation from Charlie himself.

"Yeah, it really is. How about that?" Will could hear the smile in Charlie's voice, "She told you about Reese?"

"That he's a new champion to the cause?"

Charlie chuckled, "Yeah."

Will shook his head, "Why the hell would Leona do that?"

"Oh, I don't know Will..." The tinkle of ice cubes against a glass echoed over the phone, "I think she may be thinking about retirement."

Will's eyebrows arched, "Really?"

Charlie chuckled, "I said thinking about it. I'm under no delusions that she'll ever actually retire. What would she do?"

Will ducked his head, "Yeah..."

It was quiet for a long moment before Charlie let out a long slow breath, "Mackenzie didn't say much this morning about how things have been going there."

Will rolled his eyes, "Subtle Charlie."

"I'm just saying, the likely bets were on that the two of you would be killing each other by now but I've always preferred the long odds and you're answering her phone and trying to keep from waking her..."

"The couch Charlie. She's asleep on the couch. She fell asleep watching Elliot's show." Will ground out with a roll of his eyes.

"Well, better not tell Elliot that."

Will smirked, "I won't." His eyes scanned over the lights of the city and without thinking his next words were out of his mouth, "What did she say this morning?"

"Jesus man!" Came Charlie's laugh, "Are you seriously asking me if she said anything about you? When did you go back to 5th grade?"

Will sighed, "Forget about it! Jeeze, slip of the tounge."

He could still hear Charlie snickering to himself and was about to come up with a reason to hang up when the older man spoke again, "I asked how things were and she brushed it off saying '_Will's being Will._' which I took to mean that you had yet to remove your head from your ass."

Will swallowed, "Yeah."

"She mentioned you were meeting with your therapist this morning." Charlie's voice was hesitant.

Will grasped the railing in front of him, "I did."

"Did it help?"

Will nodded, recalling the exhausting morning and feeling like he actually had cracked open something important, but still unsure as to how to use the information.  
He suddenly realized Charlie couldn't see him and that the older man had been left wondering while he was reflecting, "Yeah..." he finally answered.

He turned around and leaned against the balcony rail, his eyes falling upon the figure still sleeping on his couch and he was struck again by a memory. "Hey Charlie, can I ask you something?"

"Sure Will."

Will took a deep breath, "Do you remember the day you told me you hired Mac again? In the casual dining room upstairs? When I went to leave you essentially told me for the three years that Mac was gone I hadn't been a nice guy. Do you remember that?"

Charlie was moving on the other end of the line and when he spoke his voice was sad, "I do."

Will looked down, "Why did you stick around through all that? I mean, you're my boss and you had to to an extent but you didn't need to be my friend. No one else I worked with wanted anything to do with me but you...you didn't need to do half the things...I guess, I'm just...why?"

"Because I love you Will." Charlie's reply was so automatic and genuine and simple that it robbed Will of his ability to reply. After a pause Charlie continued, "Those other people didn't know you. I knew you. Even though you weren't being a nice guy for a little while you never stopped being a good guy. I love you Will."

Will blinked hard and focused on taking a few deep, even breaths. He started to try and formulate an appropriate response but stopped himself, hearing Jack remind him that it doesn't need to be complicated, "You know I love you too Charlie, right?"

"I do kiddo. I do." Came Charlie's warm reply.

Will nodded and let the silent tears wet his face.

"Hey, Mackenzie's leaving you to your own devices tomorrow, right?" Charlie broke the quiet in a suddenly more jovial voice.

Will tried ignore the pang that the reminder of her leaving brought him and he cleared his throat, "Uh, yeah, I guess that's the plan. 72 hours was the plan."

"Why don't you come out here tomorrow night?"

Will rolled his eyes, "Charlie, that's the whole point of the 72 hours. I'm out of the danger zone and I don't need a babysitter."

Charlie sighed, "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying you have a free weekend when you still should be taking it easy so why not come out here for some home cooked dinner? Stay the night and we'll go play 9 holes on Sunday morning. What else are you going to do but mope around your apartment alone? You already said you're going stir crazy. Come on, Nancy wants to see you. She's pissed as hell at me for hitting you."

Will let out a laugh, "Ha! So the truth comes out? You need me to save you from your wife."

"What do you say?" Charlie pushed.

Will sighed, "I suppose I could be persuaded; one last round of golf before it gets prohibitively cold sounds good."

"Excellent." Charlie remarked happily, "Come hungry, I think I saw a roast in the freezer."

Will's mouth began to water just considering Nancy's pot roast, "Well why didn't you say that in the first place?"

Charlie laughed, "Okay, good then, it's settled. Come by any time after 4. For now, I'd better hang up and let you go get some sleep."

"Wait," Will stopped him, "You called Mac's phone. Did you want me to give her a message?"

"No..." Charlie's voice dropped quiet again, "I was honestly calling to check on you and maybe try to make her feel better if she needed it. She didn't say anything but she was anxious this morning and If your meeting didn't go well I figured she'd need someone to talk to."

Will looked back to Mac who had stretched out on the couch in his absence. "Thank you..."

"What are you thanking me for?"

Will shrugged, "She needs someone looking out for her."

"Yes, she does." Charlie paused, "Why isn't it you?"

Will closed his eyes and took a deep breath, "Charlie..."

"I know. I do. But you know what? I'm an old man, I don't have the energy to be worrying about the both of you. My life would be a little easier if the two of you would just come to grips that you are each exactly what the other needs."

Will smiled softly, opening his eyes his gaze again falling upon the woman in question, "I think we both do know that."

"I know she knows that. I was waiting for _you_ to remember it. But if you finally I have then I guess the question becomes what are you going to do about it?" Charlie questioned and Will sighed.

"I don't know, but I'm working on it." He murmured, distracted by his thoughts.

"Well, whatever you're going to do, figure it out soon. For everybody's sake." Charlie paused and when he knew he'd get no response he hung up the phone with a quiet "Good night Will."


	14. Chapter 14

The next morning Mackenzie woke in Will's guest bed, which wasn't any different than the two mornings before except she didn't remember how she got there.

She rolled over and thought back over the previous evening; she and Will had progressed through the box of movies, often skipping to their favorite parts and songs as opposed to watching them the entire way through. It had been a fun afternoon complete with a few mock battles over the remote; exactly what they both needed to decompress and distance themselves from the tension and emotions of the previous evening and that morning.

She remembered Will getting quiet during Billy and Julie's duet in _Carousel _and letting the film run through to the end. She had tried to tell him that he should get some sleep when the credits began to roll but he had instead insisted on turning on ACN to watch Elliot's show.

She didn't remember anything after the roll in music. She must have fallen asleep on the couch...but how did she end up in bed?

Her wondering was distracted by her stomach growling and she moved to look at the time; 9:30! No wonder she was hungry.

She flopped back on to the pillows and looked at the ceiling. 9:30 also meant that Will's 72 hour supervision period was over and this morning would _not _be spent over a shared paper and this afternoon would _not _be spent fighting over _My Fair Lady_ versus _Singing in the Rain._

She sighed deeply and began to mentally list the things she had left unattended at home, trying to find reasons to look forward to her weekend alone. She supposed she could call Sloan. Some retail therapy this afternoon and drinks tonight sounded like the perfect distraction to get her back into the normal swing of things.

And Sunday could be laundry and catch up on work day. If they were going to keep doing this thing, then the show needed to be flawless in the coming weeks. She could do that, put all of her energy in to work until she completely forgot about her personal life…

…of course that would be easier if Will wasn't the embodiment of her professional life. It was a cruel universe that sentenced her to love the man she couldn't have but kept him as the most important featured player in her life.

She pulled a pillow roughly over her face and gave a short shout of frustration.

At least they weren't biting each other's heads off any more…for now, she thought ruefully. And the week had allowed them to have some productive conversations. Of course she never did know what to expect from him next and just because he seemed to embrace her friendship for the moment she knew better to assume that was how it would remain.

She sighed and removed the pillow from where it was smothering her and took a deep breath. She froze and breathed deeply again...she smelled something wonderful and suspiciously familiar. She immediately abandoned her musings and was propelled out of bed and out of the bedroom.

She found Will in the kitchen, hovering over the griddle.

He looked over at her with a grin, "Welcome to the land of the living. Did you enjoy your nap?"

She blinked dazedly at him, "I slept for nearly 12 hours."

He nodded seriously, "You did. But you're awake now which is good because I made waffles."

"Belgium waffles." She observed.

"With strawberry and blue berry faces and everything." He added proudly, indicating for her to sit at the breakfast bar.

He dropped a plate in front of her and she stared down dumbly at the waffle staring back at her with bacon hair, blue berry eyes, strawberry lips, syrup beard, orange nose and egg ears. "You made me waffles?"

He sat down next to her with his own plate and tilted his head, "Yeah, you still like them right?"

She nodded quickly, "Yes, I mean, I haven't had them like this since...yes I still like them, I'm just...why?"

He shrugged, "Because it's breakfast time?"

She rolled her eyes, her annoyance helping her find her equilibrium."Billy..."

He looked back at his own plate, "I wanted to do something nice, to thank you for...you know...the past few days. I didn't want you to think I was sitting here counting down to 72 hours, eager to push you out the door. I wanted to let you know I've appreciated you being here...for me this past week."

She bit her lip and smiled at him, even though his attention was still focused on his own plate.

"Well, message received. Thank you, it's a wonderful breakfast." She looked down at her plate and began methodically mixing the fruit into the whip cream. "Although I have no idea how I'm going to eat it all! God, this has got to be my daily caloric intake all in one meal..."

Will looked at her, "Well I happen to know that in addition to not sleeping these past few months you haven't been eating well either. You've lost weight you didn't need to lose. A few extra calories on a Saturday won't do you any harm. Eat up."

She looked at him and narrowed her eyes, "Will...?"

"Mrhm?" He responded around a mouthful of eggs.

"How did I get to bed last night?"

She watched as he froze for a fraction of a second and then shrugged, "You fell asleep on the couch. During Elliot's show by the way. He's going to be very insulted."

She waved aside his extra commentary, "I fell asleep on the couch and woke up in the bed. How'd I get there?"

He sighed, "Mac..."

"You carried me?" She cut him off.

He looked at her for a long minute before nodding, "I didn't want you to have to wake up."

She gave him a gentle smile and shook her head, "How's your knee?"

He rolled his eyes, "I'm not an invalid you know."

She smirked, "Yeah, you kind of are. What would have happened if it gave out or you got dizzy fell?"

He shrugged, "You'd end up with a concussion too?"

She shook her head and turned her attention to consuming her breakfast.

After breakfast they cleaned the dishes together and picked up some of the detritus which had been left in the living room over the past 2 days. After that Will had pulled out the paper and after they had both read through it all he goaded her into helping him with crossword citing that "Saturday puzzles are hard; definitely a 2 man job."

It was well past noon, the apartment was cleaned, paper read and disscussed, crossword finished, they each had showered and changed and now Will was offering to make lunch.

Mac shook her head at him, "How are you possibly hungry? We had that huge breakfast barely 3 hours ago."

Will just shrugged wordlessly.

Mac smiled softly at him, "It's just as well anyway, thank you for making sure I didn't feel rushed out of the apartment this morning, it was sweet of you but I should probably get going." She picked up the bag she had brought out of the room with her.

"You don't have to go you know." He spoke as soon as her fingers closed around the bag handle.

She looked at him with a tilt of confusion, "I do know and thank you, but I'm sure you'd probably like some time to yourself."

She took a few steps to the elevator.

"I still have a headache." He blurted out.

She turned around, eyes wide, "Is that what this is about? How bad? Other symptoms? Do you want to call the hospital?"

He shook his head, "No...uhh, no. Not that bad I guess. Just, annoying. I mean it's nothing but what is 72 hours anyway? Seems awfully arbitrary to me."

Mackenzie sighed, "Will, it was a serious concussion. You're going to have lingering symptoms, including headaches, for at least another week. The 72 hours is just the buffer zone to make sure a diagnosis wasn't missed and you don't drop dead of an aneurysm without anyone noticing."

He nodded. "Yeah."

"You're okay?" Mac checked.

"Yeah. I'm okay." He nodded reluctantly.

She bit her lip, trying to decipher his actions, "You know this also means you're allowed back to work. I'll see you on Monday?"

He gave a single nod, "Yeah. Monday."

She smiled and turned back to the elevator. He watched her as she pushed the call button and shifted her weight. When the elevator opened she looked over her shoulder to him, "Bye Will. See you at work." but before she could step into the waiting car he replied quickly,

"I love you too."


	15. Chapter 15

Mackenzie froze.

The doors to the elevator closed.

She slowly turned in place, dropped her bag to the floor and crossed her arms across her chest. "What?"

Will's eyes were wide and he swallowed before taking a deep breath, "I said, I love you too."

She pursed her lips and tilted her head, "You love me. Too." She repeated back to him.

He nodded his head, "Uhuh."

She gave him a single, slow nod, "Okay..."

He swallowed again, "I should have told you the other day."

She nodded again. "Yeah. But you didn't."

He shook his head, "I didn't. I'm an idiot."

She looked up at him, "When did you figure this out?"

"That I'm an idiot or that I'm in love with you?"

All he got in response was a pointed glare.

"Uh, yeah of course." He stammered, "Well, as you know I knew I loved you that very first day we met at that party when you were going off on Tim Russert about his interview with Bush."

She sighed, "Billy...I mean now. When did you realize it this time around?"

He shifted his weight and his eyes bounced around the room, "Do you remember that disastrous broadcast we had 4 days after you came back? Someone blew something with Jan Brewer's office and we had to go on air with 3 morons? It was the same day I had asked if we could keep what happened between you and I private and then after agreeing to that you sent the email sharing those details with the entirety of AWM and had a whole flip out scene in the middle of the newsroom? And then after all of that, I got a little cold feet and threw in a Palin SoT and then even after the shipwreck of the day you had had you still had the gall to get in my face and yell at me about integrity and leadership. Do you remember that?"

Mac shook her head, utterly confused, "Yes of course I remember that day, it was horrid. But I'm asking you when..."

He cut her off, "Then."

"What?"

"When you were yelling at me that night." He stated simply. "I realized I could try all I want but I would never be able to not be in love with you and I had never stopped loving you. All that week I had been trying to convince myself that I didn't care that you were there, that I didn't love to hear your voice or to watch you work and that I really would be able to actually fire you at some point...but at that moment I realized it was a lost cause because I was, and am, hopelessly in love with you. Most of the time you were lecturing me that night I was debating the merits of dragging you into my office and kissing you quiet."

Mac's mouth hung open and she stared at him incredulously for a long moment before she exploded, "ARE YOU _FUCKING_ KIDDING ME? 4 Days after I came back?! That was _2 and a half years ago!_ What the hell have you been doing since then? _Jesus Will!_ What about...the women and Brian and _Nina_ and the fucking ring and all the...JESUS Will...is that what love looks like to you?! _What the hell?!"_

Will held up his hands, "Hey, Hey, Hey..." He took a few steps toward her, "It was 4 days after you came back and I was still hurt and angry at you. You understand that, right? It didn't make me happy to realize I still loved you; it was frustrating and made me mad as hell at myself. I did everything I could to convince myself I didn't still love you or that I could just make myself stop. The idea of giving into that love again meant risking that hurt again and that thought was scary as anything and if it's one thing we both know is that I'm a fucking coward."

She opened her mouth but he shook his head, silencing her, "Not to mention, I was convinced you had moved on long ago and certainly didn't love me so that didn't exactly motivate me to get over myself. So yes, I did all that. But it didn't work. I never stopped loving you and I'm never going to be able to make myself. It's a permanent condition. In my head, loving you is is as logical as breathing. I can't comprehend people who meet you and don't fall immediately in love...it baffles me."

He took another hesitant step forward, his hands finding her shoulders, "There were moments. Moments when it didn't seem so scary, that first Valentines Day? The Bin Laden broadcast? The tea party broadcast and the months after?

"There were times I found myself sitting at Hang Chews because I knew you would show up there. I don't know when or how or why but it built to a critical mass and something happened earlier this year, I think it may have been about the time my father died and you were the only person who understood...Whatever the reason I just stopped resenting that I loved you.

"I knew I was making a mistake trying to be with anyone else and the idea that you had ownership of my heart started to not be a bad thing. I knew I had been an absolute prick to you and didn't think it was possible that you could ever return my feelings and I was still scared about what that could mean if you ever did, but none of that mattered because I knew I where I stood and was okay with myself for the first time in years and even if I didn't have you, we had our show and we were okay because you were still there...my partner at work, my friend whom I could call at 4 am...and it was okay. I didn't need anything more as long as you were in my life _somehow_."

Her lip was between her teeth and her eyes were wide and unblinking. He squeezed her shoulders, "But then Tuesday...I hurt you again and I thought you hated me and I hated myself and I thought I was never going to see you again and...it was just awful Mackenzie. It was just awful..." He dropped his hands and looked away. He took a deep breath and when he looked back at Mackenzie his eyes were shuttered and unconsciously she took a deep breath as well.

"I have to tell you something." He pulled his lips tight across his teeth.

Mackenzie nodded shakily, "Something more?"

Will quirked his lips, "Yeah." He immediately sobered, "I lied."

She shook her head, "When?"

Will took a deep breath, "When I told you that I never read your emails; I read them all."

Mackenzie's brow furrowed and she looked up at him in confusion.

He stepped back and leaned against the arm of the chair, "Tuesday wasn't the first time I've thought about...you know...killing myself."

Mackenzie's hand covered her mouth but she didn't say anything, just waited for him to continue.

He ran a hand through his hair, "Back, then. We broke up and then you left and there was other stuff going on; my sister was pressuring me to reconcile with Dad and we got into a huge fight, there was some turn over here and I was working with no one I knew, everything became about ratings and it all sounds ridiculous now but I was in a bad place and was seriously thinking about it. I was at home one night actually looking at how different people had done it when your first email came in."

He paused and looked away again. Mackenzie had stepped close again and he looked back to her, "I drank half a bottle of scotch debating about whether or not I wanted to read it. I did though. I read it and even though I was still infuriated I held on to it like a lifeline. And then two days later you sent another; and another that weekend. I found myself looking forward to those emails. I'm a coward and a jerk and whatever else so I could never bring myself to respond or to answer your calls but I read them all and listened to every voicemail...There was one...it was right before you went to Afghanistan and you ended up spending 120 seconds rambling about what you were going to pack...I saved it and would listen to it from time to time just to hear your voice. I hated myself for it but you've always been my weakness. But you need to know, even when I thought I hated you I still loved you enough that the fear of missing a communication from you was enough to save my life. You're my weakness but you're also the source of my strength Mackenzie. Hell, you know that already just from the show...I'm only the person I want to be when you're around."

Tears were in Mackenzie's eyes and she reached out and rested her hand on his, stilling his fingers where they were twining themselves together.

He looked up and met her in the eye, "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you any of this before but I'm telling you now. I'm admittedly pretty messed up for more than a couple reasons and I understand if when you said it the other day that may be it wasn't necessarily true or ongoing or whatever but I don't want you to think I want you to go. I don't ever want you to go, not ever."

She steadily met his gaze with her eyes damp, visually scanning his face. "Oh." Is all she finally said.

He let out an awkward laugh and smiled at her, his breath shook but his hands turned over pulling her hands in to his, his thumbs beginning to slowly stroke her wrists.

She tilted her head and swallowed, "Why didn't you say any of this the other day when I told you I love you?"

He shrugged, "Maybe it was because I couldn't believe that it could be true?"

Her mouth dropped open, "Will!" She near shouted, "Of course it is! I do! I love you! How could you ever doubt...oh...right..." Her face fell and she blinked rapidly.

"Hey..." He hooked a finger under her chin, pulling her gaze to him and halting her train of thought. "I do believe you. I don't understand you, but I believe you." He offered what he hoped to be a comforting grin.

"You do?" She asked.

"I do." He nodded. "I told you, I'm messed up Mac. But this pesky woman I know forced me to talk with my therapist and he's helping me work through things, the most important of which was pulling my head out of my ass and forcing me to have faith in the woman I love. Even if I think she's a little crazy for being willing to love me back."

She half laughed, half cried, covering her mouth with her hand and smiling brightly.

"So why did you wait until the last minute? Why didn't you tell me any of this yesterday?" She pushed.

He shrugged, "I didn't want you to think I was only saying it because I was concussed."

"You're still concussed." She pointed out with an exaggerated roll of her eyes.

Will pouted, "But I'm less concussed."

She nodded, smiling gently at him, her arms finding their way to rest on his biceps, "So you love me?"

His hands fell to her waist and he nodded, "I do."

"And you don't want me to go?" She teased, stepping closer.

"Never." He emphasized, squeezing his hands on her hips.

"Never is an awfully long time Mr. McAvoy." She commented dryly.

"Good." He replied with a smile.

She shook her head at him, "Well?"

"What?" The smirk slid of his face and confusion shadowed his eyes.

She bit her lip and shook her head lightly at him, "Are you going to kiss me or not?"

The smile jumped back onto his face, "Oh, I'm definitely going to kiss you."

And he did.

* * *

_A/N: Thanks for sticking with me on this! I honestly only had the first chapter in my head; when I put it up here and wasn't sure where it was going to end up and then I got strangled by the fluff bunnies of the finale and had to have everything resolve happily. ThIs was going to be the end but I may need to add a chapter or two to appease some of the reviewers! I was trying to wrap it up because there is another story bugging to get out but I guess there are still things to resolve here...This is such a fun universe to write in and such a great group of readers to write for! Thank you for all the commentary!_


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